


Jensen & Quinn "All That I'm Asking For"

by heatherlynn22



Series: Jensen & Quinn "All That I'm Asking For" [1]
Category: Jake Jensen - Fandom, The Losers (2010), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Absence, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Romance, couple sex, dating a soldier, people who actually like each other having hot sex, single mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:05:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8134757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heatherlynn22/pseuds/heatherlynn22
Summary: Two months have passed since Jensen and Quinn have started dating. Each have different ideas on how fast their relationship should be moving. (Takes place after the first series "A Soldiers Heart")





	1. "Q Ball"

**Jensen & Quinn**

**All That I'm Asking For : Chapter 1 "Q Ball"**

“Hey Babe. What time do we have to pick up the kids?” Jensen shouted from his bedroom.

“School’s out at 3:15. We gotta leave soon. Are you ever gunna tell me what’s going on?” She called back from his living room.

She was just finishing up the rest of his laundry and was slightly annoyed with him. He had been acting weird ever since they got back from the market.

Not regular Jake Jensen weird. Over the last two months together she’s grown pretty found of his brand of weirdness. But this was different this was just weird weird.

He had a rare weekday off because he was leaving the next day on a mission with her brother and the rest of his team. She was trying to play the role of the awesome army girlfriend and play it cool.

After dropping the kids off at school in the morning they hung out and ran some errands. She thought it would be a good idea to keep things light and causal. This was the first mission he would be going on since he started therapy and his first absence since they started dating. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of him leaving, but she knew she was going to worry about him and miss him terribly.

They had a great time until about noon. That’s when he started getting really jumpy and distracted. She wondered if maybe he was anxious about leaving, but he insisted that he was fine. She believed him for the most part. He was usually really forthcoming with her about his issues.

When they got to the market he rushed her the whole time. She forgot half of what she went there for; and then he sped like a mad man back home.

To make matters worse as soon as they got back he bolted from his truck and left her to carry in all the bags without saying a word. She watched him from the parking lot actually sprint to the building and take 2 steps at a time into the front doors. He didn’t even close the truck door properly.

What the hell was going on? Her spidey senses were tingling.

She rolled her eyes and put her groceries away quickly; then went over to his place to try and get some answers. But the weirdness continued and he wouldn’t let her in his bedroom.

She was annoyed, confused and a little disappointed; she was hoping for some alone time before they had to pick up the boys from school. But the way that things were going it didn’t look like it was going to happen any time soon.

So she folded his laundry and waited. He can’t stay in there forever.  

“Ohhhhh Quinnnn!” he yodeled out from the hall a few minutes later

Her ears perked up and she waited for him to stroll into the living room.

“I _may_ or may _not_ have a tiny surprise for you.” he teased rocking back and forth looking like the cat that caught the canary with his hands behind his back.

“ _Really_! I _knew_ you were up to somthin’ crazy man!” She was so relived that it wasn’t something serious.

“What is it? Let me see!” she danced around him and tried to get a look at what he was hiding but he raised his hand above his head.

He smiled big and kept a small badly wrapped box out of her grasp. She jumped and tried her best, but she was just too damn short.

He laughed loudly and enjoyed their little game. She decided to change her strategy and ran her hands up inside the front of his t shirt. Like clockwork he froze and looked down at her.

“How badly do you want it Q?” he asked darkly.

“You know how badly I want it Jensen.” She lightly scratched her nails down his chest the way he liked and felt him stop breathing. “You know how badly I _always_ want it.” she purred and tried to give him a sexy smirk.

“ _BUT!_ ” she took her hands away quickly and pivoted away from him. “You don’t seem to wanna give me anything right now, and we gotta go soon…. _soooo_ ”

He rushed up behind her and scooped her up around her waist and carried her with one arm a few steps over to the kitchen. She laughed loudly and kicked her legs playfully. She found it extremely hot that he could manhandle her like that so easily.

“You win Q Ball!”

He lifted her up on to his kitchen island and stood between her legs while she giggled at him. She couldn’t help but cup the sides of his face and admire his big beautiful smile. He was simply everything.

She captured his bottom lip between hers, but when he started to deepen the kiss she pulled away.

“Gimme gimme!” she exclaimed wiggling her eyebrows with a huge dorky smile. She didn’t care what it was, she just didn’t want this happy moment to end.

He handed her the small box. He had used way too much tape and there was excess paper sticking out all over the place but she could tell by the proud look on his face that it was wrapped with love. It was perfectly charming.

“I have been waiting so long for this bad boy to come in the mail.” he explained not taking his eyes off the small box.

“Is that why you’ve been so weird and took off like that?”she asked raising her eyebrows. It was all making sense now.

He nodded shyly. “Sorry. I was hoping it would get here before I left.”

“You know you don’t have to buy me stuff. Right?”

She meant that sincerely. Her ex used to try and buy her off all the time. She hated that. She pushed those thoughts away using techniques her therapist suggested. Focus on today, not what happened yesterday.

“I know. Don’t get too excited, it’s just something small. But I want you to have it. I _really_ want you to have! Now open it!” He rubbed his hands together and looked more excited then she did.

“I’m so happy!” she squealed.

She ripped through the paper like a little kid while he pressed his lips together to keep from giggling. He couldn’t wait for her reaction.

She opened the box and found a small white ball a little bigger then a large marble attached to a key chain with a silver key.

She looked at him for answers, she was a little confused.

“You’re so cute when you crinkle your nose like that. It’s a key to my apartment.” he boasted proudly.

He took it from her hands and dangled it in front of her face. Her eyes followed the little white ball attached to it.

“It’s a Q Ball silly.”

“Awww. Jensen! That’s so sweet.”

But her heart sank.

It wasn’t the reaction that either one of them thought she would have after opening such a cute thoughtful gift.

“You don’t sound like you mean that? What’s wrong?” he asked concerned. Her eyes could always give her away.

“Do you think that we’re ready for something like this? It’s only been a couple of months. Don’t you think it might be a little too soon? ”

“A swing and miss huh?” he turned his back to her and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Not really Jake. I just want you to be ready?”

“ _Me_ to be ready?” he spun around exasperated. “I’m the one giving you a key to _my_ place, I don’t see one of those around here for _me_!” Shit. He didn’t mean to raise his voice and sound so pissed. But he was getting tired of this shit.

He wanted more, she shouldn’t always be so hesitant.

“You want me to give you a key to my place?” she jumped off the counter.

“Of course I do. I already told you this. I want us all to move in together one day. One day soon.”

“But I like things the way they are now. Are you not happy?” With the way he was looking at her she was almost scared to hear his answer.

She was happy. Happier then she has been in a really long time. But he kept hinting that he wanted more and it freaked her out.

She knew that they would get there eventually but she wanted them to take their time and do it right. Rushing is what got her into so much trouble before.

“Of course I’m happy Quinn. That’s the whole fucking point! You do this every time I bring up anything to do with the future. Do you even want us to take the next step?” he asked confused.

“Yes. Of course I do.” She reached out to him but he pulled away. It stung.

“You know that I hate this fucking wall.” He pointed to the wall that separates their two units.

“I don’t want to rush into things Jake. How many times do I have to tell you that? Are you even sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?” Her patience was running thin. Why couldn’t he hear her?

This isn’t how she wanted to spend her last day with him.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he scoffed at her.

“I come with kids. And well the kids and I… we’re a lot to take on. Are you ready for us to be in your life? To completely _take over_ your life?”

He began to answer “Yes” but she cut him off.

“No! Don’t just say yes! Think about it. In your life front and center. Everyday. All day. You care about Cooper and Jack I know you do. But you don’t have to deal with them scribbling all over your manuscripts, or throwing a tantrum in the background while you’re trying to talk to your boss.”

He put his hands on his hips and looked away from her shaking his head in disbelief.

“You’re not there at 1am when a surprise puke-a-thon happens. You don’t have to drop everything if the school calls. You don’t have to make hard decisions for them and put them first every single day. Right now you get to have fun with them when you want and go home at the end of the day.”

He dropped his shoulders and looked at her like a kicked puppy. She felt like an ass, but he wasn’t listening to her.

“I want a future with you Jake. But we need to take some time to do this right.” She reminded him yet again. Fighting with Jensen made her tummy hurt.

“You don’t get it Quinn.” He ran his palm down his face and thought of how to explain this to her.

“When I’m not with you and the boys, I’m thinking about you and the boys. I want to be there at 1am. I want the puke-a-thons and the tantrums…” He started to laugh. “…well honestly no. I don’t. That sounds horrible…”

He caught her eyes and they started to cracked up over how absurd they sounded.

“Well I’ll call you up next time it happens and you can see first hand how horrible it is!” she rolled her eyes giggling.  

“Yes please call me. Or I could be just be there already, and we could handle it together.” he raised an eyebrow and gave her a pointed look.

“I get it. I just want you to make sure you have room for us in your life babe. But we take up a lot of space.” she shrugged and smiled apologetically at him.

“Come here. I wanna show you something.” He took her hand and lead her to his linen closet in the hallway and opened the door.

“See this?” he motions to the shelves of towels in front of them.

“You lost me?” she said confused.

“You folded all my towels. I have no idea how you did it, but it looks like a god damn 5 star hotel in this bitch! Their so fluffy and neat.” he admired them again. “Before you I just crammed them all in here.”

“Gimme a break it’s not like a made little origami towel animals for you or something.” she teased.

“Like the ones in resorts? Now that would be wicked cool.” he chuckled.  

“At the risk of sounding less then manly” he cutely deepened his voice when he said the word _manly_.

“Sometimes I look at these towels when I miss you. You’re right next door, but I miss you. It makes me feel better to see a parts of you around here.”

“Towels? Really? They’re aren’t ’ _parts of me_ ’ here.” It was sweet but she wasn’t buying it.

“Not convinced? Come here pretty lady” he took her hand again and pulled her into the kitchen. He seemed more like himself. Maybe today was salvageable.

“What do you see in there?” as he and opened the refrigerator door.

“Beer, milk. Leftovers from the other night.” Such a dude she thought.

“Leftovers you cooked by the way. Are you missing the 4 different hot sauces in there? I hate spicy food! Those aren’t mine.”

“Well to be fair one of those is just a BBQ sauce…”

She was slowly getting his point. The more she thought about it there _were_ imprints of her all over his apartment. She didn’t want to bring up the box of tampons she hid under his bathroom sink. She thought that she had done a pretty good job of separating their two places.

“Also your books are all over the place. _Everywhere_! In my bedroom, in the living room. I found your ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ under the couch yesterday by the way.”

“Thanks.” she said in a small voice.

“We pretty much already live together Q. Check out the calendar over there.” he motioned with his chin to the wall on the other side of the kitchen to his silly boston terrier calendar.

She folded her arms and walked over and took a look.

The only events written on there other then his nieces soccer games were the different activities the boys had. Their karate classes and matches, their swim meets, Coopers school play, Jacks doctors appointment.

“You guys are already everywhere babe. I step on Lego all the time and I have a ton of Disney movies on my DVR….and I _like it_ that way.” he added sincerely.

She took a deep breath and chewed on the inside of her cheek. He was making persuasive points. Why was she still so hesitant?

“Q? You act like I’m forcing myself on you.” he accused in bewilderment.

“You’re not. I’m just scared I guess.” That was the truth.

She wanted nothing more then to make this man happy. A part of her just wanted to give in and let him have his way. But then the fear of failing again froze her in her tracks and made her second guess everything.

She turned around hugged him tight. He didn’t see it coming and had to brace himself before hugging her back.

He sighed and knew that once he touched her he’d forget what he was trying to say and the anger and frustration would melt away.

“You matter Jensen. I just want to do this right. Please understand.” she pleaded into his chest.

“You matter too. I’m not going anywhere.” She smelled so good. He could feel his defenses dropping.

He wanted to be with her so badly. Her and the boys were his only real focus lately.

“Yes you are. You’re leaving in the morning.”

“Yeah. Well I meant more like in the grand scheme of things…are you worried about this deployment?” he asked looking down at the top of her head.

“Yeah, of course I am. I was just trying to play it cool. I guess I sorta suck at it huh?”

He laughed hard, shaking the both of them.

“I really love that you care so much Q. Everything will be fine.” he kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her tighter.

“Can I keep the key?” She could feel him smile above her. Maybe exchanging keys wasn’t such a huge deal. It’s just a key right?

“It’s yours Q Ball.” he whispered into her hair.

“How much time do we have?”

“45 minutes before we have to leave” he answered after checking his watch.

“What do you wanna do in 45 minutes?” She asked innocently as she tucked her hands under his shirt again. She could feel the defined muscles along his back tighten as he caught on to her question.

“Don’t make me say no to you Q. We don’t have time.” he groaned. But he still grabbed her ass with both hands and squeezed hard. He was considering it.

“45 minutes though?…we can work with that can’t we?” She could feel him already hardening against her leg. She was relived to know that he still responded to her like this after all the fighting.

She looked up to his face and was taken aback by the way he was looking down at her. To describe it as eye fucking would a mild description. He looked at her like a starving hunter examines its prey. She didn’t realize she was holding her breath till she exhaled slowly.

He began to walk forward, his hands on her hips gliding her while she walked backwards until her back was against wall behind her. His hungry eyes never leaving hers.

The air around them gradually changed until all that she could focus on was his eyes and the grip he had on her hips.

She reached inside his t shirt again but he took her hands and pinned them to the wall above her head. She knew what was coming and felt a surge of excitement shoot through her. She closed her eyes and raised her chin as he ran his nose down her neck.

“If we had more time…oh the things I’d do to you Quinn.” he growled against her throat.

“Don’t tease me.” she breathed.

He chuckled breaking his super sexy persona. “I thought you liked the tease?”

He’s not wrong but after their battle of wills she needed to know that they were okay. They could always communicate better with their bodies then with words.

“We don’t have time baby.” She felt a charged silence between them as he let go of her hands.

She went straight to the button on his jeans and he started to smile. He loved it when she was like this. He wanted her too. He always wants her. That feeling never goes away even if they fight.

They could fuck all night and he can feel that want building shortly afterwards. Which can be frustrating when your girlfriend can bring you to the absolute peak of physical exhaustion.

He would make fun of her and tease that she was going to end up kill him with her sexual demands, but they quickly agreed that it would be the more preferred way to go. She was making up for lost time and he was honestly loving every minute of it.

She was his best friend; he loved hanging out with her and could confide in her without hesitation. But she was also his addiction and could never get his fill or think straight when she touched him.

He had given up any hope of convincing her to move forward in their relationship as soon as her hands touch his back. The skin on skin contact sent a shiver down his spine and he knew there was no way he could refuse her. Next time he brought up this subject he vowed not to let her anywhere near him.

He gave in and quickly rid himself of his jeans, she dropped to her knees in front of him. Unlike him, she didn’t waste any time with teasing him.

She took him into her mouth immediately. He was quickly overwhelmed with the sensations rushing through his body. Her mouth was hot and wet and her hand held him tight where her mouth couldn’t reach.

He leaned his arm against the wall to steady himself as she worked him with her mouth and tongue. He was so lost in bliss that he forgot where he was for a moment.  Only she could make him feel this way. She was in control and he loved it.

His knees buckled and his heart started racing while she twirled her tongue around him. Her mouth was heaven; he lost all control of his breathing and moaned loudly.

“So… good.” he managed to mumble out in between his heavy breaths.

That just encouraged her ministrations and sped her intensity. She knew exactly how to please him and he was concerned he’d come too soon.

She took him in as far as she could and his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

He took a deep breath and looked down at her with a labored sigh. She turned her gaze up to him with the biggest most beautiful blue eyes. Her eyes were his weakness and they held him there transfixed. She wanted him fiercely, that knowledge turned him on so powerfully it took all of his self control not to fuck her mouth rough and deep.

“You look so beautiful with my cock in your mouth baby.” he groaned deep through his teeth.

He tried to keep looking at her so he could have something to replay on lonely late at nights while he was away. But she moaned in reply and he felt the vibrations run all around him. It was almost too much.

“Up, up. Come here.” he desperately breathed.  

She let him go with a wet pop, making him groan again.

She stood in front of him and needed to taste him again. She kissed him hard and he pushed her whole body against the wall with his. She felt his strong fingers unbuttoning her jeans and shoved them down. She kicked them off while they smiled against each others lips.

“How wet are you baby?” he asked against her cheek.

“Find out for yourself.” she playfully challenged.

“ _Fuuuck_.” That did the trick and he exhaled slowly.

He grabbed her by the back of her thighs and commanding her to jump. She complied and wrapped her legs around his narrow waist.

He used the wall behind her as leverage and aligned himself and pushed hard upward. He entered her so quickly it made her gasp against his mouth.

He closed his eyes tight and froze. She felt most of his body weight pressed against her pinning her hard against the wall. He bowed his head and rested it between her neck and shoulder. She could have sworn he stopped breathing.

“You okay?”she asked after a moment passed and lovingly stroked his hair.

He raised his head and chuckled. “Yeah. Sorry, that was almost over before we got started.”

He kissed her chastely and thrusted into her again. “That’s not embarrassing at all.” he joked

She moaned and laughed at the same time causing her walls to tighten around him.

He tried to ignore the delicious feeling and stay focused. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on her chin. “You ready?”

She waited until he raised he head and looked at her to answer. She nodded slowly; slack jawed and softly panting.

He couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. Her big blue eyes were glowing and heavy with lust and her pouty lips were still red and swollen from sucking him. Not to mention how tight and wet she felt around him. She was the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. He wished that he had time to taste her properly, he loved it when she came in his mouth.

He started his unrelenting pace never taking his eyes off her.

She knew that it wasn’t going to take long for either of them. He was hitting her sweet spot on just about every thrust. She held on tight to his neck and surrendered to the pleasure he was creating inside her.

As usual; the louder her cries the harder he fucked her.

Knowing that he was intently watching her made everything she felt more intense. Nothing in the world mattered in that moment. He was hers, and she was his.

Jensen was torn between holding her gaze and leaning towards her ear to whisper all of the dirty praises he knew drove her wild. But the way that she looked at him was so vulnerable and raw. He almost felt as if she was letting him look inside her soul, he wanted to stay that way for as long as she let him.

“Are you close baby?” he panted.

She bit her bottom lip and nodded quickly.

“Tell. Me. What. You. Need.” he punctuated each word with a hard thrust.

She wanted to answer; she really did; but she couldn’t find the words. She was so close her vision started to get blurry. She closed her eyes and mumbled. “Don’t. Stop….Jake.”

Her orgasm rocked her hard and she cried out and clawed at his neck. She threw her head back and rested it against the wall and felt the warm sensation wash over her.

Seeing her come undone spoke to him on a primal level and he followed her loudly a few seconds later.

She rested her forehead on his until their breathing returned to normal. She couldn't  help but immediately feel sad that he was leaving her in the morning.

He removed himself and set her down on her wobbly legs. He cupped her face and kissed her tenderly.

“Where did you go just now?” he inquired with a concerned look on his face.

She smiled sweetly and cupped his face back. “To tomorrow, to when you’re not here with me. I’m gunna miss you.” Her emotions felt so raw, but she didn’t want to make him feel bad about having to leave. She knew this day was coming; time for her to be a grown up.

He swallowed hard and nodded. He has always heard his friends and fellow comrades talk about how their spouses and girlfriends had a hard time when they left.

No one really talked about how much it sucked to be the one leaving.

“I’m gunna miss you too Quinn…. We gotta goooo!” he checked his watch. “Five minutes to spare!” he teased trying to lighten the mood.

“Should be easy enough.” she laughed, as she tried to pull her jeans back on. “We didn’t even take our tops off!”

“Shit. You’re right. That sucks. I’m I not gunna see your tits before I leave?” he pretended to be deeply disappointed and raised an exaggerated eyebrow.

She giggled and lifted her shirt up to flashed him and stuck her tongue out at him.

“You’re such a dork Q.” He laughed shaking his head.

“Yup!” she waited for him to stop jumping into his jeans and kissed the corner of his mouth. “But I’m _your_ dork!”

Jensen jogged to the kitchen and tossed her a bottle of water after she had her shoes on. While he was grabbed his keys he noticed her stuffing the key to his apartment into her pocket and a warm optimistic feeling spread through his chest.

As they walked down the hall she hugged his waist and he kissed the top of her head. As far as fights go this didn’t seem that bad to him. Everything was going to be okay he thought.

* * *

As she cooked dinner later that evening she listened to Cooper and Jack play with Jensen in the living room.

She payed close attention to the way he spoke to them.

She loved that he was silly and fun; almost hyperactive at times. But when the time called for it he was also diplomatic, caring and patient.

Jensen listened to them and made them feel important. He explained to them that he was leaving and made it seem like an adventure. He was really trying to make him leaving okay for them. He was good at it, and it seemed to be working. The boys looked up to him.

Isn’t this what she always wanted for her kids?

She thought back to their argument earlier that day. It’s not like she didn’t want a future with him. She wanted nothing more then a happily ever after.

But why did he have to move so fast? That’s what she did with her ex husband Ryan. They met and were married in less then a year. She couldn’t let something similar happen with Jensen.

They said goodnight to each other after they tucked in the boys. Jensen had to wake up early so he decided he’d sleep at his place.

She wished him luck and told him to be careful. They made out like teenagers in the doorway a lot longer then they had intended to. But then he left.

She was disappointed that he didn’t spend the night with her but this is what she wanted right?

Separate lives for the most part until the appropriate amount of time passed. Then they could take the next step, when they were both ready.

He was just being awesome and doing what she wanted. But as she locked up after he left, she couldn’t ignore the feeling like something was missing.

 


	2. "Scaredy Cat"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the eve of a new mission disaster strikes in the Andrews household.

**Jensen & Quinn**

**All That I'm Asking For: Chapter 2 "Scaredy Cat"**

“You are formally invited to the semi annual Andrews puke-a-thon.” Quinn sarcastically sung into the phone while she ran around her house trying to do a hundred things at once in her pajamas.

She had just barely fallen sleep when she heard her kids start to cry one after another from their shared room. She could tell immediately that something was wrong. Moms know these things, she could hear it in the way they called out for her. It hit her heart like a freight train.

She had so much trouble falling asleep in the first place. She laid in bed for hours thinking about Jensen and their fight and worrying about him leaving. Then disaster struck.

But now she was in full mom mode, her kids needed her so she was going to rally.

Earlier that day she was telling Jensen horror stories of times when Cooper and Jack caught stomach bugs at the same time in the middle of the night. A few hours later it was happening.

Figures.

If Jensen thought he was ready to handle the dark side of having kids around all the time; well here’s a little taste.

“You serious? Now?… Is everyone okay?” Jensen yawned loudly and rubbed his eyes as he sat up in bed. He reached for his glasses and checked the time. It was 12:45 am, he had to leave for a mission in 5 hours. He was exhausted but shot wide awake when he heard Jack crying in the background. His heart ached for the little guy, he knew he needed to be there.

“Noooo everyone is _not_ okay. Both kids are throwing up. You _do_ realize the nature of a puke-a-thon right?” she teased. He sounded tired. She started to feel guilty for waking him up.

She covered the phone as she turned back to the bathroom. “ ’ _I know Coop, just aim for_ _the potty okay buddy; there you go sweetie. I know love, you wont feel like this forever’_ … I must have jinxed myself talking about the kids getting sick this afternoon. What are the odds? Baby you’re leaving in the morning. I shouldn’t have bothered you. I have this covered okay.”

“I wanted you to call me. It’s okay. I’ll be right there.” He was already out of bed and tearing through the back of his closet.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to…Jensen?” But she was talking to dead air. She shrugged her shoulders and rushed to unlock her front door.

She went and checked in on Jack first. She left him in her en suite bathroom a few minutes ago but found him curled up on her bed with his great grandmothers blanket wrapped up to his chin. He looked tiny in her big bed, he was pale but sleeping soundly. She took a deep breath and hoped that maybe he was over the worst of it. She kissed his little chubby cheek and brushed his dark brown hair off his forehead. Jack was always her brave little angel. She smiled down and admired his cute little face. He always thought that blanket was magic. She hoped that he was right and that tonight it would keep him safe and happy.

“Mommy loves you Jackson.” she whispered into his ear.

She went back to check on Coop in the hallway bathroom. The poor little guy looked terrible. It broke her heart. Cooper was always her tough kid but now he was pale and sweating. It made him look so fragile. He usually seemed a lot older then his five years. He was so smart, independent, and strong willed. He was her kind hearted little troublemaker. But now he just looked like her little baby boy.

She would gladly trade places with either of them ten fold to spare them any kind of pain.

“I’m so sorry you’re sick buddy.” she comforted him and rubbed his back.

He asked for water from his special Spiderman cup; so she quickly made a beeline towards the kitchen. This was something she could fix.

Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a large terrifying shape standing in her living room. She froze in her tracks and her whole body shook with fright. She thought her knees might give out as the terror vibrated through her.

“Oh! My GOD!” She covered her mouth with her trembling hand. Her heart felt like it could leap from her chest.

“Jensen? What the hell are you doing?” She tried to catch her breath and placed her hand on her chest over her pounding heart.

He was standing in the middle of her living room in his Star Wars t shirt, plaid pajama bottoms and his army issue gas mask over his face.

“Sorry babe.” his muffled voice barely came through the mask.

“Are you for real?” Her heart rate began to slow down a bit. “You scared the crap outta me!”

He raised the mask to sit on his forehead. “Sorry Q. I thought it would smell really bad in here. I have a very sensitive gag reflex. I didn’t want to freak out the kids.”

“You don’t think this” motioning to his head “…isn’t gunna freak ‘em out?”

“They’re tougher then their Mom is! Ya big scaredy cat!” he whispered loudly and winked; lowering the mask over his face.

She laughed and stuck her tongue out at him. “I’m the one doing this without a mask on tough guy! You look ridiculous! ”

“ _Hey!_ I look cool Lady! The boys are gunna _love_ it!” he teased with laughter in his voice. He walked towards her and wrapped his arm around her waist and rubbed her lower back. She could barely make out his warm loving smile through the mask. Having him here made her feel so much better she, relaxed a bit and breathed a sigh of relief.

Cooper padded his way into the living room behind them rubbing his eyes.

“I don’t feel good Mommy.” Then without missing a beat threw up all of the hardwood floor.

They manged to jump out of the way in time but she could hear Jensen gag behind his mask.

“That’s okay buddy. You go curl up on the couch and I’ll get you some water.”

Just then Jack started crying from her room.

“I got the water. You get Jack ok…Spiderman cup right?” Jensen’s smothered voice came through behind the gas mask.

“Hi, Jake. Cool mask.” Cooper greeted him as if seeing him in a huge gas mask was the most normal thing in the world. Boys are weird.

Jake lifted him up and Coop rested his head on his broad shoulder.

“Told ya!” Jensen chuckled towards her. He looked so proud of Coops sense of humor.

Two peas in a pod she thought.

“Can I wear it later? You look like Vader.” she heard Coopers little voice asking Jensen as she hurried down the hall.

“For sure little man…how’s your tummy?”

* * *

Over the next half an hour it was somewhat manageable chaos.

She was surprised at how well they worked together under the circumstances. The two of them felt like a team. He would comfort the boys, while she cleaned up their messes. He would gather soiled bedding and pajamas and she would take their temperatures and give them medicine. He would google home remedies and worst case scenarios and she would laugh and reassure him that “No. The boys have not been to any tropical destinations recently.”

He turned to the boy dramatically and asked to see their passports. The kid would giggle and tell him they didn’t know what “past porks” were.

They couldn’t hear him properly through his gas mask and he played it up for them. At this point he wore if for comic relief. For a 4 and 5 year old it was hilarious. They were also beyond tired, which made them giggle more.

She appreciated that the most. His Jake Jensen humor. It made situations like this easier and kept everyone in good spirits. She was really going to miss him while he was gone.

She hardly noticed the gas mask after a while. She wouldn’t want to change this crazy man for anything; he was truly one of a kind.

It was nice to have someone to help her. Times like this; she was always solo. Everything always landed on her shoulders. Morning, noon, and night; everyday, all day; it was always just her. But whenever Jensen was over he bent over backwards trying to help and be actively involved with the boys. She noticed his effort and was grateful.

They seemed to be over the worst of it. All four of them were sitting on the couch together and before they knew it both boys were sleeping soundly on top of them. Jack sitting on her lap sleeping with his head on her shoulder and Cooper doing the same on Jensen.

She poked Jensen lightly to wake him. The mask resting on his forehead shook and wobbled as he woke. She caught Jensen’s eyes and pointed her head in the direction of the kids room and they both stood up holding their respective kids.

Jensen had to shift Cooper a bit in his arms; causing him moan and wake slightly. They both froze and held their breath and hoped he would go back to sleep without fussing.

Cooper let out a little sigh and got more comfortable and wrapped his little arms around Jensen’s neck tighter.

“I love you Daddy.” he mumbled softly and fell back asleep.

Jensen turned to her quickly to see if Quinn had heard it too. His eyes were wide and his mouth open. He looked so surprised and lost. He inhaled sharply and turned away from her. He wrapped his arms around the boy tighter and began to stroked his back.

She was so shocked she didn’t know what to say. She scurried away and brought Jack into his room and tucked him in trying to buy some time. Her head was spinning.

She made Coopers bed and tried to figure out how deal with what had just happened. But she had to be honest with herself. She didn’t have any good answers. Was this a good thing or a bad thing? Her heart said good…but of course she had doubts. What else is new.

She decided to face the music and see how Jensen was doing with Cooper. She wasn’t fully prepared for what she saw.

He was still holding Cooper close against his chest in her dimly lite living room. One hand in Coops shaggy dark blonde hair. His head looked so small resting on Jensen’s large broad shoulder. The gas mask was on the floor where he stood and his eyes were closed and his cheek was resting lovingly against Coops.  

She could tell that Jensen was close to tears as he rocked Cooper back and forth. Her heart was so full.

She wished more then anything that she could stay in this beautiful moment and stop the fear that was creeping up in her chest.

Her kids loved Jensen so much and he loved them. She was watching proof of it right in front of her.

How many times did they beg her to hang out with him? How many times did they want to show him something they thought was special? Trophies, ribbons, paintings, lego creations? Any excuse they could find to spend time with Jensen.

They asked for him before bed more times then she could count. They were all so intertwined now, she can’t deny it.

She should be feeling happy. Right? But all she felt was fear.

What if they rushed things and everything fell apart? There was so much at risk.

She leaned against the doorway and watched them. She wanted this. She was looking at the family she always wanted. But they had to do this right so that no one gets hurt.

“I put new sheets on…” she whispered through the hard lump in her throat. “His bed is all ready to go.”

Jensen look up and nodded with a tight smile. She could tell that he was trying to contain his emotions, and play everything off like it was no big deal. But she knew better. Cooper calling him Daddy was a big deal. It was a big deal to both of them.

They looked at each other for a moment and he took at deep breath.

“Want me to take him?” she bent her head to the side and offered kindly.

“No I got him.” he sniffed and walked past her to the kids room.

* * *

She decided to get into bed and give him a minute while he tucked him in. She wrapped herself up in her grandmothers blanket; it still smelled like Jack and his banana scented shampoo. She listened and waited for a moment or two then picked up her book. She read the same paragraph three times and started to get a little worried when he didn’t come to see her.

Just as she was about to go out and find him; when he walked into her room.

“Did he go down okay?’ she asked but he didn’t answer. He didn’t even look at her.

The air changed as he stood in her doorway. His head was hanging low and he had his arms crossed tightly. It looked like he was trying to hold something in.

She couldn’t tell if he was sad or angry. Was he mad that Cooper had called him Daddy?

She was about to get up and go to him put he raised his hand in her direction motioning for her to stay where she was on the bed. She stopped breathing and waited for him to let her know what he was thinking.

“This is what I’m talking about Quinn.” he said to the floor. His voice didn’t sound like him it was gravelly and rough. She sat up straighter and nervously bit the inside of her cheek.

He could hardly look at her but once he did she could see the hurt that he was trying to hide from her and she sympathetically smiled at him and exhaled.

His red tired eyes looked into hers and he pointed in the direction of the kids room. “ _That!_ …that is why I want to be here.” his breathing was shaky and her heart broke for him.

He pointed his finger to his chest and took a deep breath.

“I _want_ to be their…” He started to say “Dad” but his voice cracked and he sniffed loudly and looked away from her.

“I get it Jake. I do. But what if things don’t work out?” She started to tremble and wanted so badly to comfort him. To have him hold her and comfort her back.

All she felt was fear. Fear for him, fear for herself and the boys. She felt it start to consume her.

“What if things _do_ work out?” He angrily spat out through his teeth. Anger was easier to feel, so he went with that. Feeling rejected and helpless hurt far worse.

“I want us to work out. I do. But I have to _protect them_.” she emphasized “protect them” Why didn’t he understand this? The fear coursing through her veins was making her body go cold and she started to tremble.

“From me? You never have to protect them from me!” He tried to control the volume of his voice and stay in control but he felt like he was breaking in two.

“From losing you. Yeah. I gotta protect them from that. They love you. I need to know that we are going to last and you’re not just playing house.” As soon as those words passed her lips she regretted them. It was too harsh. She didn’t really believe that was what he was doing.

“You know what? I can’t win with you.” he threw his arms up and started to pace the room. He ran his hands through his hair and tried to decide if he wanted to stay and fight or just walk away from everything.

But he looked at her sitting on the bed and saw what he has always seen in her. She was his best friend and the future he never thought he deserved; or would ever be lucky enough have. She was his home.

For a split second he told himself to calm down and just let it go. But that was only for a second. More waves of hurt and anger washed over him and he just couldn’t bring himself to let this go. He needed her to understand how unfair she was being. He had given her no reason to think that he wasn’t in this 100%.

“I can’t win Q! If I don’t care enough then I’m just ’ _playing house’_ or _'having fun with them’_ and I can ’ _just_ _go home after._ '” He threw her own words back at her and watched her flinch and hug herself.

“But if care too much …” He thought back to holding Coop in his arms and his voice started to break again. “Then you think I’m going to leave and hurt everyone. Either way I’m fucked.”

She felt terrible. How did they get to this place? Did she do this? This wasn’t what she wanted at all.

“You’re not being fair Quinn. I’m not the bad guy here. Stop punishing me for what _he_ did.”

“Is that what you think I’m doing?” That has always been her biggest issue. They both knew it.

She didn’t want her past to effect her present life or her actions. She pays a very nice therapist a lot of money every week to try and keep that from happening.

He sat down next to her on the edge of the bed and took her hand. He didn’t want to get distracted, but it felt like the right thing to do. Hell, maybe he _did_ want to be distracted right now. Touching her and comforting her was as much for him, as it was for her.

He knows about her issues, and understands that they aren’t all her fault. He decided to redirect his anger to her ex husband where it belonged.

“Maybe you are Quinn. He hurt you. More then just physically. He walked away from you. He walked away from them. I’m not going to do that.” he looked so earnest and sincere.

“I want to believe you. I don’t think you’re lying to me.” She reached out and softly stroked his cheek he smiled sheepishly and leaned into her touch.

She took her hands away from him and hugged her knees close to her chest and rested her chin on them.

“This is just all happening so fast. It feels like we’ve been dating for 10 minutes; and now you’re giving me keys and talking about as all being a family. I need some time to catch up. I’ve never been a girlfriend and a mother at the same time before. It’s only been 2 months Jake.”

He relaxed his shoulders and exhaled deeply. He knew she was right, he just didn’t want to admit it. He was pushing way too hard. But what happened with Cooper rocked him hard. Being with her and the kids felt so right. They were _all_ his home; not just Quinn.

He knew what he wanted. It dawned on him that she had no idea what a big deal that was for him. To actually know for sure what he wanted.

“Quinn.” he took a deep breath and made sure she was listening. Her big blue eyes met his he felt his anger melting away.

“When I’ve been lucky… or unlucky enough to be with someone. I’ve always let the other person have what they wanted and I just went along with it. If they wanted a relationship then she was my girlfriend. If they wanted to keep things casual we just fucked on and off and hung out. Either way, I didn’t get too invested.”

“I know what _I_ want for the first time and I’m going for it. I don’t want to just hang out with you. I’m ready Q. I’m ready for all of it.”

“But..” he stood up and looked down at her.  “I’m skipping all the steps like a jackass.” he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. “Lets take a little break okay. We can start over from the beginning. No labels. No pressure. Are you up for that?”

“A _break_! Are you breaking up with me?” she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He just finished saying that he was ready.

“Kinda. Look we both need some time to figure stuff out. I have a feeling that if we don’t take some time; I’m going to be the one getting hurt here.”

She looked so defeated and sad. That wasn’t what he was trying to do. He didn’t want to hurt her. He ran his hands through his hair. What the fuck is he doing? This isn’t why he came over here tonight.

“We’re going to start over when I get back. We’ll start from square one and you’re going to call all the shots now.”

“If I’m calling the shots then I don’t wanna to break up!” she whined like a petulant child.

“I don’t want to either. Not permanently anyway. Ask me out when I get back… If you still want me.” he shyly smiled

“I do want you Jensen.” She tried to keep her tears at bay but they started to fall down her cheeks. She did want him. She didn’t mean to push him away like this. Looking at his sad shy face was hard. She felt a sharp stab of guilt.

“I want you too… maybe too much.” He leaned down and softly wiped away her tears with his thumb.

He hated every second of this. He wanted them to work, but if everything were left up to him he knows that he wont stop pushing her and fighting for more. Maybe this way she’ll have to either fight for him too or realize she really didn’t really want him in the first place. Which was his biggest fear and made him sick to his stomach.

“Promise you won’t play hard to get?” She tried to tease him but couldn’t make herself sound happy.

“I’m a sure thing baby.” he gave her his famous loop sided grin that always warmed her.

“Stay with me tonight?” she asked hopefully.

“Overnight? How easy do you think I am?” he furrowed his brow mocking outrage. “You haven’t even taken me out to dinner yet!”

“You’re leaving in 4 hours, please stay.” She didn’t mean to sound like she was begging but that’s how it came out. She couldn’t leave things this way. She still felt so cold, all she wanted was for him to hold her.

“Okay. But no funny business. You stay on your side. Don’t take advantage of me. I’m in a fragile place right now; I just got out of a relationship.” he joked.

“Shut up.” she rolled her eyes and laughed. He could still make her laugh, even in times like this.

He laid down on top of the blankets while she got comfortable under them.

“Seriously?” Shit this was serious. He doesn’t want to touch her.

“Yup.”  He leaned over and turned off the bedside lamp and put away his glasses. He knows if he touches her he wont be able to stop.

She laid on her side facing him and draped her arm around his waist. She wasn’t going down without a fight. He doesn’t seem to object but doesn’t cuddle her back. But nonetheless she already felt warmer.

“I’m sorry I wrecked everything.” she whispered. Her heart hurt but she knew that his did too.

“I wrecked it too. But we’ll fix it Q. I’m sorry I’ve be such an idiot.”

“You’re my idiot. Don’t think about this too much when you’re gone okay. Stay on your game and focus on coming home in one piece.”

“Yes ma’am. Get some sleep okay.” he leaned down and kissed her forehead. _Her_ idiot. He smiled in the dark, he couldn’t help but love how that sounded.

He stared at the ceiling and thought about Cooper calling him Daddy and how it made him feel. He didn’t know it was possible to love like that before. He didn’t want that feeling to end.

He really hoped that this gamble with Quinn pays off.

He wanted to prove to her that he is here for the long haul, and that he wanted to put her needs first. If he keeps pushing he knows eventually he will scare her off. She has to want him too. But will she fight for him?

He stroked her arm that cuddled him. She cared about him, he hasn’t been imagining these two months.

She’s a fighter; she’ll fight. He had to stop doubting himself; it was going to drive him crazy.

He drifted off thinking about the smell of Coopers hair and how small he felt in his arms.

* * *

He woke from a short restless sleep. It was 4:30am. Cougar was going to be outside waiting for him at 6am. He was wide awake, there was no way he was going to get back to sleep.

He could faintly hear Duke and Daisy snoring in the living room and he listen for a few minutes to see if he could maybe hear if the boys were okay, but he heard nothing. He loved her bed, he usually slept so much better here then at home. Tonight was not one of those nights.

Quinn was sleeping softly beside him on her stomach. He watched her for awhile and wondered what she was dreaming about. She looked so young, like a little kid. Her long thick eyelashes fanned her cheeks and her pouty full lips were slightly open as she softly breathed in and out. Her and Jack sleep the exact same way he smiled at the similarities between them.

He remembered the past 12 hours and how fucked up everything had become. He seconded guessed every word he said and every choice he made. Laying here next to her was exactly where he wanted to be he didn’t care under what circumstances. He watched her sleep and decided he would take her anyway he could have her. Everything else was just details.

He studied her sleeping face and brushed some strands of hair off her cheek.

“I love you Quinn.” he whispered.

It was the first time he had said it out loud. He meant it and the words came out easily. For him; in the past; that wasn’t always the case. He watched her breath and realized that he has loved her for such a long time, he must have said those words in his head a hundred times.

He crawled under the covers and wrapped his arm around her and snuggled up next to her. She felt warm and smelled sweet like vanilla and coconuts.

He knew that he should let her sleep; but that was the problem with irresistible things, they are almost impossible to resist.

He gently kissed her cheek and slipped his hand under the back of her tank top. Her skin was warm and soft as he ran the flat palm of his hand up her back. She started to wake and let out a low hum.

“Is it time for you to go?” she mumbled half asleep without opening her eyes.

“No baby. I just wanted to touch you.”

The serious heartfelt way that he said that had her attention and she opened her eyes.

He rested his head on his bent arm and smiled down at her sweetly. She didn’t object so he continued to rub her back softly.

His touch felt so nice that she closed her eyes and relaxed into it. He begun to massage her back gently and she involuntarily moaned softly, they both smiled and giggled at her reaction.

He loved how she responded to him.

“Are we going to be okay?” he whispered

She flipped over on to her back and he placed his hand flat against her belly. He waited patiently for her answer.

“We want all of the same things. You know that right?” He looked so far away. It worried her that he didn’t look convinced.

She turned over on her side and mirrored his posture so that they were almost nose to nose. His arm snaked around from her belly to the small of her back pulling her closer to him.

“Kiss me.” she whispered against his lips.

He pulled away and she frowned. A painful stab of disappointment and rejection squeezed her heart.

He gently pushed her shoulders down to the mattress and lifted her comforter away from their bodies.

“What are you doing?”

He sat up on his knees and started to pull down her pajama shorts.

“I’m gunna kiss you.” he answered darkly.

“Oh.” She lifted her hips to help him slip off her shorts once she understood what he meant.

He caressed down her thighs and spread them apart before he climbed between them.

“Do we have time?” she ask as he ran his nose along the soft sensitive skin of her inner thigh. He began to leave wet open mouth kisses along the other one.

He stretched his arms up and under her tank top and caressed and squeezed her full breasts. She moaned when he got rougher.

“What time is Cougar picking you up?” she panted while he hardened her nipples.

He stopped his teasing and looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. “Babe? Tell me you are _NOT_ thinking about Cougar right now?”

She laughed loud and threw her head back into her pillow chin to the ceiling. He cracked up and joined her; the sounds of their laughter filled the room.

“Should I be worried here?” he joked as she covered her mouth and laughed harder. If felt so good to laugh with him again. Almost as good has what he had planned for her…well almost.

She sat herself up on her elbows and caught his playful eyes as he looked up at her between her legs.

“Trust me, it will be your name I’m screaming.” she assured him and bit her bottom lip. Talk like this always got him going. Truthfully it got her going too. She never felt as sexy as she does when she pushed his buttons.

He exhaled and shook his head slowly. She knew how to drive him crazy.

“Damn straight.” he growled and lowered himself between her thighs and continued to tease her.

She took a deep breath as she lowered her head into her pillow. She mentally prepared herself for what was about to happen; Jensen could be intense. She wasn’t complaining, she just needed a second. Sometimes she wondered if he went down on her for her pleasure or for his. Her heart was racing before his mouth touched her. Just feeling his breath on her skin made her walls clench.

She was right they didn’t have a lot of time, he went straight to work and raised her thighs over his shoulders; his hands tucked under her ass to raise her hips up to meet his warm mouth. He circled her clit with his strong pointed tongue and held on tight as she started to arch her back off the mattress.

She pressed her lips together to keep from screaming, but the moans coming from her sped his intensity and he started shaking his head enthusiastically from side to side as he devoured her. She reached down and ran her hands through his hair and scratched his scalp. The sounds of his eating and his delighted moans filled her ears while he savored her.

“Oh my god that’s amazing…”she moaned as she pushed up hard into his mouth.

He moaned back in agreement.

He licked her deep from bottom to top over and over again keeping a delicious rhythm that she surrendered to.

She was more then half way there when he added two fingers. He found her gspot with very little effort and continued to work it over while he sucked her clit through his lips.

She came so hard he felt her legs tremble on his shoulders. He was in awe of her.

“Again.” She thought she heard him say, but the waves of warm pleasure were still washing over her. She thought she must have misunderstood. She opened her eyes and looked down at him. His greedy eyes met hers as he wiped his face with the back of his hand.

“I want another one.” his intentions barely registered through the thick haze that lust had filled her mind with.

He dove back into her with his fingers and lapped at her clit again using the same rhythm as before. This time it was too much and her back arched further off the bed then before. He wasn’t detoured in the slightest and held on tighter. He continued until she shouted out loudly.

He took his mouth away and wiped it against the inside of her thigh but his fingers kept the steady and strong pounding rhythm inside her.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this… but you gotta be quiet babe. You’re gunna wake up the kids.”

She grabbed his pillow and squished it to her face and moaned into it. He shook his head and laughed at her. She was so fucking cute.

“Don’t stop. Don’t stop.” he heard coming from behind the large fluffy pillow and he bit his lips together and tried not to laugh too loud. But he complied and continued to fuck her the way she liked with his fingers. It didn’t take long for her to fall apart and he felt her walls squeeze tight while she came on his hand.

“Goooood girl” he soothed as his rubbed his hand down her trembling thighs. He pulled off his shirt and kicked off his pajama pants to let his impressively large cock spring free. He chuckled looking down at her; pillow still covering her face.

He crawled between her legs and rested most of his body weight on top of her.

“Hey. Where’s my pretty girl?” he cooed at her with a giant amused smile.

She peeked her head out and smiled shyly at him. “That was…”

“I know… I think the neighbors know too.” he teased and looked down at her proudly.

He kissed her passionately but eased into her slowly. He groaned into her mouth when he finally buried his length completely inside her. Quinn giggled and tried to quiet him by covered his mouth with her hand, but he playfully bit her fingers. She was surprised at how much it turned her on to feel him use his teeth on her.

Jensen noticed her reaction and bit down on her fingers again, only this time, a little harder. She groaned, and seemed to love it, and that in turn it make him thrusted into her harder. He loved finding out new ways to please her. She was so turned on and wet, he was pretty proud of himself. 

“You like that?” he mumbled with her fingers still in his mouth

She nodded while she panted and hooked her legs around his waist causing him to go even deeper inside of her. 

Jensen groaned at the new sensation and let go of her fingers. He focused on her neck, and kissed and sucked along her throat. Hearing her pleasure always turned him on and he wanted to make her make the same noises she did before, so he gently used his teeth on her skin between her neck and shoulder.

“Fuuuuuck” she moaned. Quinn thought could come again from that alone. She felt him smile against her skin. She was hoping he wouldn’t forget her newly discovered kink in the future. She had no idea where it came from, but trusted that Jensen would never take things too far and hurt her. 

He kept his strokes slow but deep.  He pulled up her tank top and she took it off the rest of the way while he captured a hard nipple in his mouth. He pulled on it hard with his lips causing her to cry out again. That was all it took to ignite his primal passion and he started to fuck her with complete abandon. He let go of her breast with a wet pop and focused on chasing his own release. He grunted with every snap of his hips.

She closed her eyes and felt her pulse pounding in her ears. She held on tight to his lower back as he pounded into her. She couldn’t believe it but she felt that familiar build up, she had never been fearful of an orgasm before, but wondered how she would survive another one.

“You have no idea how tight and wet you feel right now.” He looked down and watched her tits bounce with every push of hips.

“I’m not gunna last baby are you close?” he pleaded.

“I’m close. I’m close.” she panted and he nodded. “Use your teeth again Jake.” He lowered himself to her neck as he felt himself starting to come and bite down hard on her shoulder. In the back of his mind he was hoping he wasn’t being too rough, but then he felt her coming along shortly after him.

She wrapped her arms around him tight and felt his heart pounding in his chest. She was sure that he could feel hers as well. That was intense.

He got up and checked the time. He had 10 minutes to get out the door. His heart sank.

“Fuck. I gotta go Quinn. This sucks, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” she rolled over on to her stomach and hugged the pillow under her and watched him run around the room gathering his clothes. She was sad he was leaving but could barely keep her eyes open, they had been up for the better part of the night.

He paused in the door way and watched her laying on the bed. She was so beautiful, his heart was so full. He couldn’t resist and ran up and jumped behind her and kissed up and down her naked back. She giggled and moaned in delight.

He got up to the crook of her neck and rubbed his beard against her skin making her squirm, then kissed behind her ear. He needed to hear her laugh before he left.

“I’ll be back before you know it, and then you can ask me out. I expect flowers and candy. You can pick me up and we can make out in your hatchback.” he teased while she giggled softly into the pillow.

This was it. He was leaving.

“Be careful Jake. You’re needed here.” Her voice broke but she was proud of herself for suppressing the urge to weep and beg him to stay here with her.

“Bye Quinn” he kissed down her back as he crawled off the bed.

“Bye Jake.” She answered and pushed her face into the pillow. She couldn’t bring herself to watch him leave.

He took one last look at her and walked out.

She heard him dress quickly in the hallway and look in on the boys. Once she heard her front door close she raised her face from her pillow took a deep trembling breath and said “I love you too Jake.”

 


	3. "Fuck Fear"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Jensen is away Quinn's best friend Mallory gives Quinn some valuable advice.

**Jensen & Quinn**

**All That I'm Asking For: Chapter 3 "Fuck Fear"**

“Are you for real Quinn?” Mallory accused looking royally pissed off.

Quinn looked up from her coffee surprised by her friends reaction. Mallory usually had her back. She looked around the quiet coffee shop hoping they weren’t making too big of scene.

“What do you mean?” she whispered loudly leaned towards her across the table with a confused look on her face.

“I told you. One minute Jensen wants to move too fast and move in together and the next minute he wants to take a break. I’m worried about the kids getting hurt.” she summarized.

“That’s bullshit Q.” She didn’t look convinced at all.

“What the hell Mallory?” She usually loved it when her friend up front and blunt with her; but she wasn’t expecting this reaction at all.

She just spent 20 minutes telling Mallory everything that had happened the day and night before Jensen left. Well almost everything. She glossed over all the super sexy parts, and decided to keep the “I love yous” under wraps for the moment. She was embarrassed that she chickened out at the last minute and didn’t tell Jensen to his face.

She thought that her friend would understand how high the stakes were and how one misstep could ruin everything. To her these all seemed like very legitimate concerns.

“Listen to yourself! You’re biggest problem is that your boyfriend wants to be with you. Boo freakin’ hoo!” She was clearly annoyed with her and had no problem calling her out. People were starting to stare at them.

She motioned for her to calm down. Mallory looked around the coffee shop and took a deep breath.

“Quinn.” she leaned in and made sure she was listening to her. “You are smarter then this. Can’t you see he is doing all of this to make you want him as much as he wants you.” She leaned back into her chair and shook her head. “You and Clay are so much alike it’s scary. What’s with you two? I would kill for your problems.”

“Oh no!” Quinn’s heart sank. She realized that there was more going on here then she was aware of. She put down her coffee and gave her friend her complete attention. She can figure things out with Jensen when he got home.

It dawned on her that she really had no idea what’s going on between Mallory and her brother. She figured that everything was fine. They must have hooked up sometime after the night at the bar that ended up with her in the hospital. The first time she had any idea that they could be a couple was the night they both came to her rescue after Jensen had his nightmare. But since then she hasn’t really heard much. Clay and Mallory both kept quiet and discrete about each other but they seemed happy enough so she didn’t pry.

But what made her feel sick to her stomach was that she never asked. Between the kids, work, and her new relationship with Jensen she was busy. She hated the thought of being too busy for Mallory.

“What’s going on? I’m so so sorry. I’m a terrible friend. Spill it.” she pleaded.

“He’s your brother I can’t.” she looked away from their table and shook her head.

“I love you like my sister and you _can_.” Her stomach was doing flips. She wants both of them to be happy and doesn’t want to take a side. Dammit Franklin Clay, you better not fuck this up she thought.

“It’s a tale as old as time. He doesn’t want to commit. I care more then he does. Sound familiar? Jensen and I should start a support group.” She added rolling her eyes.

“I’m so sorry Mallory. Clay has always been a little dumb when it comes to relationships. His last girlfriend put a bomb in his car. If it makes you feel any better this is the longest relationship he’s ever been in … and a lot less explosive…but in a good way!” she smiled sympathetically and it made her friend laugh a little bit.

“Relationship? I’m not even sure if that’s what we have… he barely said goodbye to me before he left.” Her voice trailed off. She seemed lost in her own thoughts.

She not used to seeing her best friend like this. Mallory is the tough one that holds everyone together. She’s the sappy one that cries at the drop of a hat.

“He seems happier and lighter over these past two months and I know that has to be because of you Sweetie.” She wanted to kick her brothers ass, but also be supportive for her friend. The thing was; she’ has been such an emotional mess lately she wonders if she could pull off either.

She took a moment to gather her thoughts. She wasn’t sure what to say. Clay was Clay, and Mallory has had feelings for him for years. She had to admit that as much as she wanted to she might not be able to fix everything for her.

“I want to be as neutral as I can okay. I love you both. But you really need to talk to him. Then talk to him again. And when he brushes you off or acts all stern and authoritative. Stand your ground and talk to him again. Make him talk to you.”

She knew it was possible to get through to him; she does all the time. But she’s his little sister and he lets her in. Most people don’t get to see the real Clay. Believe it or not he can be a big softy. The more she thought about it the more worried she was for him too. Mallory was good for him and he could so easily loose her.

“He’s worth it. You both are. He takes care of everyone and puts himself last. That’s maybe why he didn’t make a big deal out of leaving. He was thinking about the mission and men under his command. He always feels responsible for putting them in harms way.”

She realized what she just said and shuddered at thought of Jensen being in danger. He’s been gone for a week now, and she hasn’t heard anything from either of them. Sleeping for her has been really hard and she wonders how she’ll ever get used to being an army girlfriend. She pushed those thoughts away and focused on her friend.

“But Mal, at the end of the day you have to do what makes you happy. It’s possible he can’t be the man you want him to be… and you deserve the whole world.”

Mallory nodded in agreement and hastily wiped away a few stray tears with the back of her hand and it broke Quinn’s heart.

“I’m sorry. I’m such a butt. I wanted to ask you how things were going, but a part of me didn’t really want to know. You know? I wanted to skip any gross sexy time details. Plus life has gotten so nuts.” 

That’s no excuse she thought. She kicked herself. Mallory was always there for her. She never wanted to be the kind of girl that abandons her friends when a guy comes along.

“I get it. I didn’t want to bitch to you about your brother either. It’s not fair to either of you.” Mallory was starting to sound like her old self again. Quinn wondered if she was truly okay or just trying to put on a brave face.

“Are we cool?” she asked with a warm smile. She told herself that this was never going to happen again. She hated the idea of being a shitty friend.

“We’re cool. Q. Of course we are Doll.” she sounded a little happier.

Quinn reached out across the table and took her hand.  

“Just so you know. I’m not afraid of commitment. Don’t start any support groups just yet. Shocker. I actually really love the kid.” She ignored Mallory’s wide eyed shocked expression. “I’m just so terrified of fucking everything up.”

“You gotta get outta your own way Quinn. You guys are both fighting for the exact same thing but in different ways.” she knowingly shook her head.

“Different ways? How do you mean?”

“You see things as a timeline. Step one, two, three. Then you get your happily ever after wrapped in a pretty little bow. You think if you complete all these steps it’s not going to be as scary. Newsflash relationships are always fucking terrifying. I think Jensen sees it more as a finish line and he’s just dying to cross it. But he is tripping all over himself.”

Sounds kinda like Jensen she thought to herself. Fuck Mallory was good at this.

“But what if it doesn’t work out? What happens to me and the kids then?” she asked through the lump in her throat.

“What if taking all this time pushes him away for good?” She starts counting on her fingers all the possible outcomes. “What if you take all the time that you _think_ you need and it _still_ doesn’t work out? You’re looking for some kind of a guarantee and there will never be one even under all of your perfect circumstances.”

Quinn looked at the table and started fidgeting with her hands. She knew Mallory was right.

“You have to go for what makes you happy. Run to it. That is the best thing that you can do for you and the kids. Don’t be dumb about it, but put your happiness somewhere in the equation too. Jensen is the first guy in 4 years to come along that turned your world upside down. He makes you happy Q. That means something. Show Cooper and Jack that it’s important to conquer your fears and let yourself be happy. Risk everything if your heart tells you too. Isn’t that what you’d want them to do if they were in your shoes?”

She leaned across the table and held Quinn’s shaking hands together in hers.

“What would you tell your kids if one day they were in a similar situation? Whatever the case may be.  If they were scared of a new job or scary new opportunity? What would you tell them if they had a chance at happiness and they let their fear get in the way?”

“I’d kick their ass and tell them to go for it…metaphorically kick their ass that is.” with a sad chuckle.

“See?” Mallory said with a sympathetic pointed look and leaned back into her chair.

“Who know you were such a romantic?” she smirked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t go all Romeo and Juliet on you. I’ve just seen you go through so much. You deserve a win; and from what I can tell so does Jensen.”

“Romeo and Juliet were tweens that knew each other for a four days and 6 people died.” Quinn joked.

“ _SEEEE!”_ Mallory laughed gesturing over at her. “Your body count is so much lower then that!” It felt good to lighten the mood and laugh with her. “Sweetie, you are so close to having what you’ve always wanted.” she stated matter of factly.

“What’s that?”  She knew her so well. All of this was hitting home. She was already close to tears and knew that Mallory wasn’t going to pull any of her punches.

“A family. Isn’t that why you stayed with Ryan for so long? You wanted a family of your own so bad after your parents died that you put up with all of his shit. Jensen isn’t anything like him. You have been so worried about your past fucking things up, but you’re letting it. Do you want a family with Jensen?”

“I do. I really do. But I’m so fucking _scared_. I can’t seem to shake it. I’m such a wimp” she felt a tear slip down her face and quickly wiped it away.

“You. Of all people. Are not a wimp. When I was too scared to open my own studio & boutique what did you tell me?” she reminded her.

“That you should do the thing that scares you the most.” she recalled their past alcohol fueled conversations when Mallory was conflicted about her future.

“And you were right Q. Look at me now? I have two. It is still scary sometimes, but I’m glad I did it. Go for what you want. And I can tell by the look on your face every time you talk about Jensen that you want him. He makes you happy. Let him. Coop and Jack knew he was the right guy before you did. So my advice. Is fuck fear.”

“Fuck fear.” she nodded with resolve. “I sorta really love you, you know. You sound a bit like my therapist. But she doesn’t swear so much.” she quickly wiped more stray tears away. She felt better then she has in days.

She felt her confidence building. She can do this. The fear was still there. It might always be there, but she wasn’t going to let it control her life anymore.

“Well good, at least I’m cheaper! All it cost you was a cup of coffee! And I sorta love you too.”

“I really hope things work out for you and Clay.” she really meant it. For her brothers sake more then Mallory’s.

“I really hope things work out for you and Jensen.”

“They will. Come on, I got and idea. I gotta shopping.” she reached behind her chair and grabbed her purse.

“Oh goodie, retail therapy. I’m down.” she answered happily, downing the rest of her coffee.

“Don’t get too excited. I need a buy a ton of towels.”

“Towels?” she scoffed

“I’ll fill you in on the way. …and I have to plan the best date ever.”

“I’m down for that too. This should be fun.” she smiled at her friend clearly amused by her new attitude.

Jensen wanted her to prove to him how much she wanted him? She was more then up for the challenge. Fuck fear.


	4. "Coming Home"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn meets someone from Jensen’s past. Jensen can’t wait to get home to Quinn and the boys.

**Jensen & Quinn**

**All That I'm Asking For: Chapter 3 "Coming Home"**

To say that Quinn was having a bad day would be a massive understatement. Anything that could go wrong today did.

She was late for carpool, spilled her coffee all over herself. Had vet appointments for both of the pups and ended up late for a teleconference with her publishers. Her illustrator flaked out on her at the last minute and she missed lunch. Not to mention how shaky she has been from all the caffeine she’s had to drink in order to function lately.

Sleeping at night has been a bit of a problem since Jensen left. She has given up trying to hide the dark circles under her eyes; they’ve turned into constant reminders of the time she spent worrying about Jensen and her brother when she should have been sleeping soundly. Hence all the caffeine.

The boys were also acting out all of a sudden. She had to drag the them kicking and screaming to their swim classes this afternoon because they all of a sudden decided they now hate the pool. She usually can’t get them out of the water. She suspects that they just miss Jensen cheering them on on the sidelines.

She was thankful that swimming was a non contact, non competitive activity without any refs for him to argue with. But nonetheless he was always the loudest one there; his voice always carrying and echoing throughout the whole pool. The kids loved it and he never missed a class when he was home.

Then to make matters worse Mallory cancelled on yoga for the 2nd time this week. She doesn’t really blame her. They were both pretty hungover after polishing off two bottles of wine the night before. She came over to help her set up a kick ass surprise for Jensen in his apartment. Thanks in part to her new key to his place. They were surprisingly productive considering the amount of alcohol they drank and the number of dance offs they challenged each other to. It was nice to have some bestie time.

Plus thanks to some of Mallory’s connections she also had a great date night planned. Everything was coming together, she just had to wait for Jensen to get home now. Any day now right? It’s been two very long weeks already.

She still felt sick about the fight they had before he left. He wanted to “take a break” but he also wanted to start over. She tried to focus on that, and not all the mistakes she made.

She felt a little bit more optimistic about her love life but she felt like hell and was pretty sure she looked like it too. But the day is finally done and she was dragging her tired butt back home. She couldn’t wait to get the kids to bed. All she wanted to do was curl up on the couch in Jensen’s hoodie with a big bowl of popcorn, watch some mindless TV and have a cuddle session with Duke and Daisy.

Jensen was always was the best part of her day; she missed him so much. Thanks to Mallory she had a new outlook and knew what she wanted. She was going to win him back and prove to him that she wanted a future with him.

The same fear that paralyzed her before was still there. It might never go away. But she decided not to let it dictate how she was going to live her life. Between her best friend and her therapist she felt confident for the first time in years.

But on days like this when he was away on a mission; god knows where; she finds herself wishing she’d just taken a leap of faith. He was offering her everything that she wanted. Why didn’t she just take him up on it?

But she was going to fix everything. She felt brave now.

That was until found a stunningly gorgeous leggy blonde woman hanging out by Jensen’s door.

“Hi? Can I help you?” Quinn called out to her politely. Maybe she’s lost? She looks so well dressed she must be.

“Here kids go inside. Let the dogs out and get ready for bed okay.” She opened her door and the boys ran inside.

“Uhhh. Maybe you can help me.” she gracefully strolled over to her door. “I’m looking for Jacob, do you know when he’ll be back?”

Jacob? That threw her a bit. She didn’t know anyone that called him that. She seemed polite enough, but she noticed the shrewd once over look she gave her. Yeah I look like crap, thanks for reminding me.

“He’s out of town right now, is there anything I could help you with?” she asked cordially. Alarm bells started to go off in her head. What was going on with this girl? She’s never really been the jealous type, but there was a vibe this girl was giving off that made her feel like she was here to start trouble.

What was her deal? This girl was gorgeous and dressed to kill. She was a few inches taller then her, but that might have just been the killer heels she had on. She was showing a lot of leg in her sexy but trendy dress; but she had legs for days so it wouldn’t really matter what this girl wore. She couldn’t help but notice that her skin and blonde hair were also annoyingly perfect.

The way she kept looking her over made her feel inadequate and self conscience.  

Why was this women sniffing around her boyfriends house? Jensen was still her boyfriend, right?

“It’s a _personal_ problem, if you know what I mean.” she played with her hair and giggled like she was recalling an inside joke Quinn wasn’t privy to. She made the word “personal” sound dirty. Was she blushing too?

“Um. Okay. And you are?” The curiosity was killing her. She wondered for a second if she really wanted to know the answer.

“Oh. You must be _new_ here.” She said ‘new’ like it was some kind of unfortunate disease.

“I’m Mandi.” she leaned in like she was sharing a secret with her. “I’m Jacobs ex. But we’re more like ’ _friends with benefits.’_ ” Using air quotes.

Quinn wanted to break her perfectly manicured fingers. First of all his name is Jake or Jensen. Secondly we are not friends, why are you telling me this? She internally screamed.

He can’t still be seeing her? But they are on a break. A break that _he_ wanted. Man I really fucked up she lamented as her heart sank. There was no way she could compete with someone like her. They were in completely different leagues.

“Wow. You live here?” she squealed breaking Quinn out of her depressing thoughts. “I’m like _soooo_ jealous. When Jacob and I moved in together… for like two minutes; we actually looked at your unit first!”

Her fake smile and forced bubbly attitude was starting to make her feel a little sick. Well you aren’t living together now, so why are you here?

“I really wanted him to get it…but you know.” she leaned closer to give the false pretense of being discrete but they were the only ones in the hallway. “…he couldn’t _afford_ it.” she sadly sighed.

“He’s in the army… Special Forces actually” she made it sound like the army part was bad; but bragged about him being in the special forces. She wondered if she even knew what she was talking about. “ Trust me they look really hot; but it’s a shame they don’t make _any_ money.”  

Seriously the nerve of this woman. She was starting to get a little heated and wanted this conversation to be over. Over share much? Who seriously cares about all this stuff?

“Well…” Quinn cleared her throat and trying to stand a little straighter. “I’ll be sure and let him know that you stopped by, do you want to leave a number for him?”  

Why is she helping this woman? She wanted to kick herself… or her. She started to get flashbacks of mean girls in high school. She just wanted to get her out of her hallway.

“Oh Honey! I’m positive a guy like Jacob wouldn’t lose my number. It’s not like he’s the best with the ladies if you know what I mean. He’s going to want to come back for more.”  Punctuated by an obnoxious hair flip and a wink.

“Oooookay.” This was getting a little bit out of hand now. She knew what she was implying. She might as well have a neon sign over her head blinking “I’m here for a booty call”

“Well.. the thing is _Jensen_ and I…we’re sorta see-” Quinn couldn’t finish her sentence because Cooper came running out to see what was going on and held her hand. She took a deep breath and decided not to loose her shit on this girl in front of her kid.

“Oh were you and _Jacob_ seeing each other?” She started to giggle like it was the most amusing idea in the world.  “Ooops. Well good luck with that. I didn’t think he was into milfs.” Cruelty dripping from every syllable.

Ahhh her claws came out and Quinn saw this chick clearly now. No amount of perfect makeup and shiny hair was gong to make her pretty. What the hell did Jensen ever see in her?

“Wow. Well I had no idea he was into…” She repaid her with the same shrewd once over look she had given her a minute ago. “…someone so completely _average_.”

She was about to use much more colorful language to put her in her place but bit her tongue and remembered that Cooper was standing right there. Normally she would never sink so low, but this chick deserved it, and much worse. She figured calling a girl like this average would land the best blow.

Her insincere bubbly act was dropped while she attempted to hide her shocked expression. She quickly shifted gears tried to stare her down.

Quinn didn’t back down or flinch for a second; Clay would have been proud.

It only took a second for this chick to realize that she was messing with the wrong milf. Accepting defeat she instead looked down her nose and sneered at Cooper.

“Mommy what’s a milf?” Cooper asked overhearing miss barbie bitch.

“It’s a grown up word sweetie, go back inside with your brother.” She smiled sweetly at him, you could cut the tension in the doorway with a knife. She was sure that he could pick up on it.

Mandi giggled and gracefully strutted out down the hall like it was her own personal runway.

“Have a good night!” Quinn said through her teeth with a forced smile. Don’t trip in your heels! She spitefully thought.

She looked exactly like the kind of woman that all men drool over. Super hot, perfect boobs, small waist, long legs. Her makeup, hair, and nails were perfect. She could have been a model. Maybe she was a model?  

Unlike her she must have tons of time to shop for the best clothes and go on spa days. She doesn’t seem to have a care in the world. No dark circles under that chicks eyes.

Quinn was always saddled with responsibilities. It made her feel like maybe Jensen made a boring choice.

If that kind of woman was his type then what the hell did he see in her?

Oh no. What if he was going to start seeing her again because she couldn’t commit? He wouldn’t do that would he? Her heart said no, but why else did this Mandi girl pop up? Why now?

She couldn’t be mad at Jensen. Technically he was a free man. They were on a “break.” She’s seen Friends before, she knows what could happen on a “break.” It was her fault they were in this limbo in the first place.

She looked over to his door and remembered the perfectly laid out surprised she and Mallory set out for him to find. She still had a card or two to play. She just hoped that it would be enough.

* * *

 

This mission was soooo fucking boring! 17 days 14 hours and 35 minutes away from Quinn and the boys and they had nothing to show for it. The targets they thought they had located were long gone by the time they got in position. The team spent most of their time out there waiting for new intel. By the time they had something creditable to go on they were nowhere even close to the targets new position. Weeks and weeks of training for nothing.

But Jensen was back now and couldn’t wait to get back home. He needed to wash the jungle off him, sleep for whole day, eat some real food and find out of his dog still recognized him. But seeing Quinn and the boys were on the very top of his list. He thought that he had left things as good as he possibly could before he left but all the time away had his head playing tricks on him.

Cooper called him Daddy and he totally lost his cool. He had no idea it would mean so much to him. He was an idiot and told her that they needed to take a break. He was trying to force her to take him seriously but looking back it was such a dumb risky move.

He reminded himself that they did spent the night together afterwards and had the hottest sex just minutes before he walked out the door.

He tried to focus on the more positive outcome of his last night home. But the longer he was away the more he worried that maybe he lost her. What if she took this “break” idea of his seriously and moved on and found someone else? He’s seen Friends before, shit like that could happen and it would have been all his fault. He didn’t really want a break from her. He just wanted her to take some time and try figure out if she wanted to get on the same page as him.

He texted her from the tarmac once their plane landed but heard nothing back. Then he texted her again during their mission debriefing to let her know that he would be back home soon. He caught some shit from his superiors for being on his phone. But if he had heard from her he would have considered the reprimand worth it. But that was about an hour ago and he still hasn’t heard anything. What the hell Q? Text me back he silently begged.

Cougar was driving him home. He was thankful for the silence.  

His stomach was in knots the closer he got to his place. Is she giving him the brush off? Does she still want him? Did he push her too hard? There was a part of him that knew this day would come. There was no way a guy like him could hold on to a someone like her.

All of the reasons they fought seemed so insignificant. He would rather have separate addresses forever then to let her slip through his fingers. He wished that he could have talked to her at some point while he was gone. If he had, he’d have some kind of clue as to what she was thinking and what was waiting for him at home. But they were under strict radio silence orders and he couldn’t risk giving away their location.

He looked out the window of Cougars truck and willed it to move faster, he had to find out.

“She is waiting for you.” Cougar told him plainly without taking his eyes off the road.

“Huh? How are you so sure?”

Jensen couldn’t help but confide in Pooch and Cougar while they were gone. They all had so much down time and Q was always on his mind. He would wait till Clay and Roque were out of earshot and tell them the same story over and over again hoping to get some reassurance or advice. This is more then Cougar has said about it the whole time. Pooch wasn’t much help either. He just got engaged a couple of days before they left so he was on cloud nine and didn’t want his relationship drama to bring him down.

Cougar just smiled knowingly, tipped his hat and kept driving.

“She might not be you know. She might tear my still beating heart from my chest and throw it against the wall…I was such a fucking loser. ” He shook his head sadly and his voice trailed off. Jensen anxiety started to hit him and a sense of doom lingered in his chest. He really had no idea what he was coming home to.

“You were a loser when you met and she wanted you then.” Cougar added wisely.

He chuckled at his friend. For some reason being called an loser made him feel slightly better. Maybe Cougar was right. She always got him, he never felt out of place with her.

Quinn on the other hand was not a loser like him. She was smart and successful and usually knew the right thing to say in any situation. He admired how girlie and cute she was without being snobby or materialistic. He loved it when she teased and made fun of him; but she never once made him feel bad about himself no matter how romantically clumsy he was. Her heart was too big to let all his socially awkward fuck ups change how she felt about him. He always felt safe with her.

She was so cool, he had no idea what she saw in him. Either way, he was totally hooked on this girl.

They hit the highway and he rolled the window down and stuck his head out and yelled loudly. It felt good to feel the wind on his face and yell and scream. It released some of his pent up stress. Out of the corner of his eye he could see that Cougar was laughing at him. Fuck it. I’m an loser remember?

They were about 15 minutes out and he fired off another text to Q.

Jensen: **Text me back. Q Ball! I’m almost home!! :) xo**

He waited a minute or two and heard nothing. He tried her again.

Jensen: **Helloooooo.  R U guys up?**

This was starting to get ridiculous. How many texts are too many? Maybe one more…

Jensen: **I really missed you Q.**

He erased “I really missed you” and re wrote it twice. He was second guessing everything. But it was the truth; he missed her. He wanted so badly to go home to her.

But he heard nothing. Maybe her phone was dead? Maybe she was sleeping. It was late, close to midnight. Maybe he would drop off his stuff and have a quick shower then knock on her door? Would it be a dick move if he woke up the kids? He tried not to to feel disappointed but this was not the home coming he was hoping for. He tried calling her number and it went straight to voice mail.

Fuck. This sucks.

Cougar dropped him off at their building and he saw her car in the parking lot. He had butterflies in his stomach knowing that she was so close to him. He bitterly thought that if he just had a fucking key to her place he wouldn’t be feeling like this right now. He shook his head and tried to stop thinking that way. Bugging her is what got them in this mess in the first place. He had to stop pushing.

He made a beeline for the front doors. He was tired and his duffle bag was crazy heavy but he still took the stairs two at a time. He might see her. If not tonight then first thing in the morning.

He walked down the hallway to his door and thought of all the moments that the two of them shared in that hall. His goodbye before his last deployment when he wasn’t sure if she had feelings for him. Their first kiss after he brought her home from the hospital. When she came to his door and put them back together after he accidentally hurt her. All of those emotions came flooding back and left a warm excited feeling in his chest.

Yeah, fuck it. He was going to knock on her door tonight. The kids didn’t have school in the morning. It won’t be the end of the world if he wakes them up. He had to see her. He just had to drop off his gear and shower first.

He got through his door and switched the light on. He could tell immediately that there was something different about his place.  

It took him a second or two for his eyes to adjust and see the surprises that were set out for him.

There were little folded towel animals all over his kitchen and living room.

A long crocodile chillin’ his coffee table. A monkey hanging from his curtains. Two swans sitting on the back of his couch. An elephant on his armchair. A little snail and some colorful fish were on his small dinning room table. They were EVERYWHERE!

He dropped his duffle bag and laughed alone in his doorway. Quinn. She did all this while he was gone; she must have used her key. She did all this for him.

He closed his door and walked around to take a closer look at all the different creations. His favorite was the large dinosaur she placed in Duke dog bed.

He wondered into the kitchen giggling and checking everything out. On the island he spotted two small origami dogs that sorta looked like Daisy and Duke. He almost lost his shit; it was so freakin’ cool! No one has ever done anything like this for him before.

He loved her so much. This is exactly the kind of dorky and adorable thing that she would do.

He walked over and took a better look at it the little dogs. He was planning on taking them with him to give to Cooper and Jack to play with. They were both dog crazy just like their mom.

When he picked it up and noticed that there was something hanging from one of their necks.

Once he realized what it was he breathed in sharply and tried to clear his throat. He felt the emotions squeezing his heart and tried to keep it together.

Around the dogs neck was a house key. The top of the key was in the shape of a house and it had a flat metal key chain attached that was a little bigger then one of his dog tags. He flipped it over and read the inscription.

“ _ **Keep Calm She’s Waiting For You**_ ” with a flag on the top and a heart on the bottom.

He pictured Quinn’s beautiful smiling face in his mind while read the words over and over again. He let those words sink in.

He saw a folded piece of paper on the counter and picked it up. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. It was overwhelming, he was grateful he was in private.

He read the paper and smiled while happy tears pooled in his eyes. It was a card from her and the boys similar to the one that he made her the morning after their first disastrous date.

It said “Welcome Back ~~Babe~~ Jake!” and had the kids drawings all over it. He opened it up and in her handwriting it said

“Use your key and come home Jensen xo.”


	5. "Lullaby"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen and Quinn reconnect after a long absence.

**Jensen & Quinn**

**All That I'm Asking For: Chapter 5 "Lullaby"**

Quinn was half halfheartedly reading in her bed when she heard the sound of Jensen using his new key for the first time.

She quickly tossed on her book on the nightstand and the dogs jumped off the bed to greet their new visitor.

This is it! She felt a spike of adrenaline shoot through her veins. She was so nervous, but also incredibility excited. She missed him so much.

The boys had tried so hard to stay awake and wait for Jensen. But they had been sleeping soundly beside her in her bed for about 2 hours now. They were bursting with happiness when she told them she got a text from Jensen telling them he was back in town. It was like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny was paying them a special personal visit.

It took all of her self control not to text the poor guy back. She had to make sure that he went to his place first and found his surprise. If he knew she was up and waiting for him she had a feeling he would have come straight to her instead.

But she re read his last text a dozen times while she waited for Cougar to drop him off. It said “ _I really missed you._ _Q_ ” Hearing from him made her feel so much better about everything they had gone through. The mean walking barbie doll she found the other day by his door was all but forgotten about as she waited for him to walk through her door.

Jensen was coming to see her and was using his key, that was a good sign.

She sat up in bed and tried to play it cool and wait patiently for him to find her. She was so giddy she felt her body humming in anticipation. Jensen was the only person who could make her feel this way.

She almost considered crawling over the boys to run into the living room to jump into his arms. But she sat in her bed and listened to the dogs excitedly prance around on the hardwood floor and counted the seconds until she got to see his face.

* * *

Jensen always thought that her place smelled wonderful. He had no idea how wonderful until he came back after being away for so long. He closed his eyes while he stepped through the doorway and breathed in deeply. The only way he could describe it was fresh, clean, and sweet all at the same time.

He saw some toys laying on the coffee table and Quinn’s purse laying on the armchair in the living room. It all felt so familiar. He was at peace. He was home.

The dogs came happily charging at him and jumped up on his legs. Duke jumped up so high that he did a little flip and landed on his back. He scooped them both up and tried to stop them from licking his face and headed straight for Quinn’s bedroom.

“Hi.” she greeted him softy with a sweet gentle smile as he walked in. He put the dogs on the floor and couldn’t stop his heart from racing.

He took a deep breath and took in the sight of her. He was speechless. Her long dark hair fell around her shoulders as she sat up against her headboard. Cooper and Jack were adorable as usual and sleeping peaceful next to her. The soft light of the bedside lamp gave her features such a lovely romantic glow. He has never had a feeling like this before; it was almost like his own heart existed outside his body and was all cuddled up together in a queen size bed.

He held up his new house key and gave her a shy loop sided smile. Pride shined through him. She beamed back at him in acknowledgement from across the room.  

“They tried to stay awake to see you…” She whispered and smiled looking down at the kids. “…but they didn’t make it. I’ll bring them to their room…” She started to crawl out the bed but he motioned for her not to bother.

“That’s okay. I got it.” he whispered.

He took a moment and lovingly stroked Jacks thick soft brown hair. He picked him up slowly and rested his head on his broad shoulder.

“I missed you big guy.” he said quietly into his hair. “I think he’s got bigger while I was gone.” He kissed his head and headed out the door.

He came back to get Cooper and watched her for a moment while she stretched beside her bed with her back turned. She was unaware he was back in the room. He loved the way her body moved. He couldn’t help himself she was perfect dressed in her cute little pj shorts and grey tank top. He was itching to touch her. He spun her around and without any hesitation crushed his lips on hers. She pressed her body flat against his while their lips and tongues danced.

She tasted like heaven, he couldn’t imagine how he would ever be able to leave her again for another mission.

He broke the kiss and rested his forehead on hers. Her sweet perfumed scent was all around him as they both tried to catch their breath.

“Is our break over?” she whispered with her eyes closed.

He nodded with a lump in his throat and kissed her forehead “No more breaks Q. Never again.”

She pulled him down to her and kissed him again; but there was still so much that he wanted to say. “I’m done fighting….no more pushing-” but she couldn’t stop kissing him. “Whatever you want.” he mumbled against her lips while she continued to kiss him. He cupped her face and pulled her away from his lips.  “I just want you to be happy.”

She looked into his eyes and nodded quickly “You make me happy. What you said before? About you getting hurt. I’m so sorry. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Especially you.” She took a deep breath and stared at his soft full lips.

“I have to tell you so many things Jensen. I just..” and she sounded out of breath as she dove for his lips again. He understood how she was feeling because he was feeling the same thing. The more he touched and kissed her the more everything became right with the world. Neither of them wanted that feeling to end.

They couldn’t keep their hands off each other; but Cooper was still in her bed.

He groaned in disappointment and pulled away.

She stepped away from him and watched as he collected Cooper and left to tuck him in.

It only took a moment for him to run back into her room with a distinct bounce in his step. She hugged him as he lifted her feet off the ground. She squeezed him so tight she took his breath away. She loosened her grip when he let her know she was cutting off his oxygen.

“I’m so glad you’re home. Did everything go okay?” she asked against his chest after her feet touched the ground.

“It was a giant waste of time Q. I stink. Can I shower here?” he asked and felt her shoulders shake as she tried not to laugh.

She didn’t mind; but he was right, he did smell terrible.

“Of course you can. Your key came with special shower privileges silly. Make yourself at home.” he smiled and kissed the top of her head.

“You didn’t use up all your towels making those cool animals for me did ya?” he teased.

She giggled while she lead him into her en suite and started the shower for him. She hasn’t felt this light and carefree in weeks.

It didn’t take long for her to feel his strong arms wrap around her waist and his lips on the side her neck as the steam filled the room.

“Thank you for my card.” he spoke with a familiar humor in his voice. “and for my surprises… and my key… and my key chain.” He punctuated each thank you with a wet open mouthed kiss on her neck. With each one she leaned her back further into his hard muscular chest. “Thank you for waiting for me.”

She heard him repeat the phrase engraved on his key chain. A warm loved feeling spread through her body. She realized that in his arms there was no fear; she intended to stay there as long as she could.

“You’re very welcome.” she answered trying to choke back her happy tears. “It’s part of a set you know. I have one too.”

“Really? What does yours say?” he asked as she turned around within the confides of his arms to face him and lovingly cupped his face.

“Mine says _‘Keep Calm & Wait For Him’_ not that I needed a reminder…well the 'Keep Calm’ part maybe.” she added regrettably and lowered her hands.

“You weren’t calm while I was gone?” He was concerned by the look on her face.

He realized that if the tables were turned and it was her in a dangerous or risky situation he wouldn’t be anywhere close to calm. The more he thought about it the more he wonders if he’d even be able to function if she was in ever in real danger. In a lot of ways she was much stronger then he was.

“I was okay. As okay as I could be. Sleeping was pretty rough though…I wasn’t sure where we had left things with us before you left. I was worried about you and the guys…but also about us. I wasn’t sure if you still wanted me.” she confessed while he listened to her carefully and tucked her hair behind her ears. 

“I’m so sorry Q. I meant what I said. I’m gunna stop pushing.” Seeing her like this he felt like such an ass. “By the way… Wanting you? That has never been a problem.” he added with a shy smile.

“Are you hungry?” she asked with a smile trying to change the subject and lighten the mood.

“You have no fucking idea!” he growled and held her tighter. He pressed his prominent erection into her hip.

“Me too.” she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck while he squeezed her ass. “But I was talking about food…” a shiver went down her spine as he ran his full wet bottom lip up the side of her neck.

“I’m starving…for you…well…. and for food too actually.” he made a face while he pretended to weigh his options.

She laughed and he let go of her and started to take off his clothes. “I have some leftover chicken. I’ll go make you a sandwich.”

He was already shirtless before she finished her thought. He looked up at her innocently enough while he kicked off his boxer briefs and pants, but once his eyes hit hers something changed.  She caught sight of his naked body and a powerful force seemed to take them both over. It caused their bodies and lips to crash into each other in a frenzy of lust and passion. They both felt their connection and pull so strongly, they were overcome. They both worked together swiftly to ride her of her clothes.

She was standing with him under the hot spray of the shower before she knew what was going on. The taste his of mouth and tongue being diluted by the random drops of hot water in her mouth.

“I missed you so much” she moaned as he licked and sucked along her neck. She reached down and held his cock firmly in her hand stroking slowly. The blood in her veins was on fire for this man.

“Do you know what I thought of? All those nights away from you…” He pushed her back up against the cold tile and cupped her roughly between her thighs. She reached out and tried to kiss him but he pulled away. She panted with anticipation and continued to stroke him with a soft steady motion.

He slid one finger then a second inside her wetness. She closed her eyes as he curled his fingers and began to pump them. He kissed her hard pulling her bottom lip with his teeth.

“All I could think of was how beautiful you look when you come.” He took his hand away and pulled her hand off of him. She pouted at the lost sensation and he gave her a devilish smile in reply.  

Without taking his eyes off her he took her hand pressed it against her warm center.

“Show me. I wanna watch you come.” his eyes burned through her and he began to slowly stroke himself using the same rhythm she used moments ago.

He was serious. She’s never done that before. Well of course she has, just never in front of someone.

She licked her lips and watched him stroking himself in a slow steady deliberate motion. She was so incredibly turned on by it. He must feel the same way watching her she decided.

He looked at her with so much lust and passion it effectively stripped her of her inhibitions. He made her brave and confident. She positioned her fingers and showed him exactly how she likes to touch herself.

He watched her with wonderment and awe. She was unashamed and unabashed. He studied her carefully and committed her movements to memory. He had to do this to her himself one day.  

“That’s it baby.” he encouraged “Fuck that’s so hot Q. Don’t stop.” his breathing was becoming ragged as both of their paces increased. “Talk to me. Does that feel good…” She looked lost in the moment he would give anything to know what she was thinking.

“Yes.” she swallowed hard and half opened her eyes. “I want you.” she puffed.

“Is that what you think about when you make yourself come?” he asked darkly. He stepped forward pressing his forehead on hers. She slowed the rough circles she was rubbing around her clit. He was having none of that and took her wrist and kept her hand moving between their bodies.

He needed to be inside her. He was too keyed up for all this foreplay. He stopped his own strokes before he passed the point of no return and focused all his attention on the beautiful sexy creature in front of him.

“Always Jake… I always think of you before I come.” she moaned against his lips.

He couldn’t take anymore. He swore her words made him harder.

“I want you to come for me.” he whispered in her ear and dropped her wrist. She didn’t need any further encouragement, her pace increasing as she chased her release.

She moaned and mewed and he swore it was the sexiest experience he’s ever had. She was close, he could tell. He remembered her new kink and pulled on her earlobe gently with his teeth and felt her cry out and shake. He held her up as her orgasm rocked through her.

“Gooood girl.” he soothed as she gathered her bearings “That was amazing Q.” She smiled shyly and tried to turn her face away in embarrassment. But he held her chin and brought her lips to his; giving her all the reassurance she needed.  

She forgot all about the intimate show she just put on as he kissed, sucked and bit along her neck. His mouth trailed down to her chest until he reached his destination and attacked her breasts with his warm mouth one at a time. She ran her fingers through his hair and tried to stay standing.

When she began writhing against mouth and pull hard at his hair he figured she was ready.

“Turn around and stick your ass out.” his tone changed from his usual praising tone to one more deep and commanding. She wondered if there was anything she wouldn’t do for him if he asked her with that sexy voice.

She did as she was told and he pressed his palm flat against her back. She cried out when she felt a solid reverberated slap across her backside. It was the most delectable sensation. Pleasure and pain all wrapped together. It snapped her out of her complacent post orgasmic glow and brought her abruptly into the here and now. In this shower with him was exactly where she wanted to be. She wanted him so badly she had no words.

He aligned himself and pounded into her fast and hard. He knew that this wasn’t going to last long based on the noises she was making and how wet she was. He couldn’t handle the way she made him feel. He gripped her hips harder trying to keep her in place while he fucked her like a man possessed.  

The steady stream of the shower mixed with the sound of their skin slapping together filled the room. Her moans and cries reached his ears and he grunted loud with every thrust of his hips.

“Ah. Fuck. You’re so god damn tight baby.” he almost growled.

He felt his peak quickly approaching and was determined to bring her along with him. He grabbed a large handful of her long wet hair and pulled her up to his chest. Once she was in place he reached around her and rubbed the same rough circles around her clit that she had shown him before.

“Come for me Quinn. I want you to come for me NOW!” without letting up in his efforts. His voice echoed through the bathroom and she couldn’t help but comply with his request.

He feel her pussy squeeze tightly around him while she cried out and reached her climax. He quickly lost all sense of his surrounding and came hard inside her.

“Jesus.” after a moment had passed “What the fuck was that?” he tried to catch his breath as he wrapped his arms around her waist tighter and turned them into the hot stream of the shower.

“That was amazing.” she hummed and leaned into his chest.

“I wasn’t too rough was I?” he stood in front of her and quickly examined her. He ran his hand down the red marks on her neck caused from his beard and the suction of his mouth. They didn’t look too bad and she smiled letting him know she was okay. He turned her around and ran his hand over the red almost hand shaped mark on her ass.

“That was surprisingly fun.” she giggled. It did feel a little sore, but she wouldn’t have changed a thing. She was amazed at the things this man could bring out in her. First biting, now spanking? She felt powerful, sexy and cherished all at the same time.

“Fuck. I got carried away Q.” his voice was irritated and filled with regret.

“Don’t you dare apologize.” she was still giggling and calmed his worrying mind with a gentle kiss. She knew what he was thinking and wanted to stop those dark thoughts in their tracks. He didn’t hurt her.

“I liked it… A lot actually. I’d kinda want to do it again.” she smirked at him and saw his blue eyes twinkle. He was back with her again.

They laughed and showered together until they were their fingers were pruney and the water went cold. He told her all about his latest mission without giving away too many classified details and she massaged his head while she washed his hair.

They dried themselves off she told him all about what her and the kids were up to while he was away. He was so stoked when he found out that Cooper won an award at school.

She confessed while getting dressed that it was Mallory that folded up most of his little towel animal surprises. She was all thumbs and Mallory seemed to have a knack for it. It took her all night to figure out how to do the big dinosaur she left in Dukes dog bed. He laughed and told her that it honestly was his favorite one.

He was so happy to finally make it into bed with her. She looked so comfortable and content under her large fluffy duvet. He was laying in his underwear on top of the blankets facing her on his side. After the hotter then hell shower and the even hotter welcome home sex they were both physically drained.

Even though they were exhausted she couldn’t stop touching him. She was afraid that if she stopped he would disappear again somehow. They laid together in silence while she ran her fingers down the side of his thigh and across his hip and stomach making sure he was real. He flinched and giggled from time to time, making them both smile at each other.

“Heeey. That tickles Punk.” he whined but he secretly loved it. How in the world did he get this lucky?

He nestled into the pillow next to her and she ran her hand along the side of his face and scratched his beard with her fingers.

“That feels way too good, don’t _ever ever_ stop!” he groaned with his eyes closed. He was hypnotized by her touch. Being home now he couldn’t be more relaxed. He loved her bed so much. He felt himself sinking into it. He felt his stomach growl a little but decided he couldn’t bring himself to leave her just yet. Even if it was just a quick trip to the kitchen

“Duke like’s it when I scratch him like this too” she teased. They heard a notification go off on his phone, but they ignored it.

“Lucky dog! Well they do say that dogs resemble their owners right?” he joked.

“Really? How does Daisy resemble me then?” she challenged and tickled her nose against his.

“Daisy is an adorable sweetheart that wouldn’t harm a fly but I pity the fool that tries to mess with Jack and Cooper!” he answered with laughter in his voice. But he was serious. Quinn was stronger then she looked, he felt honoured to have her in his life. Her eyes were bluer then he remembered, how could he ever have mistaken that beautiful color?

“I’m so glad your home.” she yawned deeply and he smirked at her. Everything she did was so cute. Another notification binged from his phone, but he focused only on her face.

“You can sleep now Babe.” his voice was low and soothing.

“No I wanna stay up and play with you.” she murmured.

“Play with me? I don’t have the energy. You killed me in the shower.” he smiled while he watched her try and keep her eyes open.

“Do you need a lullaby?” he teased.

“You are my lullaby Jake.” she whispered

“You’re so cute. I’m not going anywhere sleepy head.” he whispered back and kissed her forehead. This is exactly what love is supposed to feel like he decided while he looked into her tired blue eyes.

He remembered what she had said earlier about not being able to sleep while he was away and he was concerned about her. He brushed some of her hair way from her face while another series of notifications beeped from his phone. It was starting to piss him off; it was almost 1:30 in the morning. Who the hell was it?

“Promise?” she sighed with a tired voice.

He reached behind him and turned his phone off quickly. Her eyes were closed before he had a chance to answer her.

“I’m gunna grab some food okay?” he whispered just loud enough that if she was still awake she would hear him but if she was asleep wouldn’t wake her.

He was starving and sneaked away to raid her kitchen.

* * *

“You had a visitor the other day.” he heard her call out softly as he headed back into her room with a sandwich and an apple hanging out of his mouth

“You’re suppose to be sleeping.” he mumbled through the apple.

“That might be who’s blowing up you’re phone in the middle of the night.” she added giving him a pointed look from her pillow. “It kept going off. I couldn’t sleep.”

He jumped down onto the bed beside her and it made her bounce a little. He offered her a bite of his apple and she accepted.

“Shit. Sorry Q. I thought I turned it off.” he grabbed his phone and made sure it was turned off properly this time.

“A girl named Mandi came by the other day. She told me she was your ex.” She took a small bite and chewed carefully. “She needs your help with something.” She tried to read his face for any clues and noticed him exhale slightly and drop his shoulders in disappointment. She thought she saw him roll his eyes before diving back into his sandwich.

“She said that you would have her number.” She took another bite of his apple and waited for some kind of an explanation, so far he didn’t seem very forthcoming. He seemed more focused on his food.

“Did you guys hang out at all?” he asked in between giant bites of his sandwich.

“No. Not really. Just long enough for her to add some new words to Coopers vocabulary.” she snickered to herself remembering how she tried to explain what a milf was to him later without using the word “fuck”

“Coop met her?” he whole posture changed and he stopped eating.

“Only for a minute.” A cold chill ran down her spine. He looked almost afraid for a moment

“Fuck.” he shook his head slowly “I don’t think the kids should be around her Quinn… I know it’s not my place.” He paused and rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from her. “She’s not a very nice person.” He said to the wall. He put the rest of his sandwich on the nightstand.

“Hey. It’s okay. I figured that out for myself pretty quick. We’re not going to be braiding each others hair anytime soon.” she rubbed his leg and tried to reassure him.

“You figured her out a lot faster then I did.” He took his glasses off and swung his legs over the edge of the bed onto the floor. She gave him a moment while he rubbed his face with his hands.

She didn’t like hearing the sad regretful tone in his voice and curled up behind him. She rested her cheek along the middle of his back and listened to him breath. She was worried about him and had no idea what he was feeling.

“Do we have to talk about this now?” he asked. He sounded so lost, like a little kid.

“No. Of course not.” This was not the reaction she thought he was going to have.

“Thanks Q. I’m just so tired.” he swallowed down hard and turned off the bedside lamp.

Quinn was confused and concerned but went back to her side of the bed to give him some space. She could barely keep her eyes open and hoped that all of this could keep till the morning. Moments later she heard Jensen sigh loudly as he pulled her closer to him. She smiled and rested her head on his chest and in seconds she was sleeping soundly.

Jensen on the other hand couldn’t sleep at all. His body was exhausted but his mind wouldn’t shut off. He really believed that all this shit with Amanda was behind him. He never wanted Quinn to have to deal with his ex; but especially not the kids. The idea of that woman coming anywhere near the boys while he was away made him feel sick and helpless. Whether it was his place yet or not, Jensen already knew in his heart that he would protect those kids at any cost.

Jensen should have told Quinn all about Amanda. If she had known his history with her there is no way she would have given her the time of day or let her anywhere near her kids. He loved the momma bear side of Quinn. But he was in no hurry to relive all the shit he went through with that woman. Jensen didn’t want all of the stuff that happened between him and his ex to be in Quinn’s head. Protecting Quinn was a very honest reflex for him too.

But Jensen had already shared so much with Quinn about his PTSD and his work. In turn, Quinn, had opened up to him and told him about her ex husband, and how Jack was born. After all of that, telling her about Amanda didn’t really seem all that bad. Besides, Quinn was tougher then she looked. The two of them both had their demons and they were doing a pretty good job of fighting them together.

He took a deep breath and realized that he's never been in a relationship like this before. Maybe he should start trusting it? Jensen felt like such an asshole for wanting to take a break, he could have lost her.

Jensen reached for his phone on the nightstand, careful not to disturb Quinn. He needed to find out what the hell Amanda, or Mandi, whatever name she was going by nowadays, could possible want with him now. He decided that he was going to tell Quinn everything about her in the morning. But first, he needed to know what was going on. He turned his phone on and screen lit up his face in the dark. Sure enough, all the notifications that had kept Quinn up were from her

“ _Jesus Fucking Christ._ ” He spat out bitterly through his teeth and tossed his phone violently back on the nightstand. He outburst made Quinn stir on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and cursed himself for freaking out and waking her.

Jensen soothed her back to sleep and kissed the top of her head. He’ll deal with Amanda in the morning.


	6. "Heroes"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn tries to process a shocking discovery.

**Jensen & Quinn**

**All That I'm Asking For: Chapter 6 "Heroes"**

Quinn woke up feeling a little finger poking at her cheek. She smiled before she opened her eyes and already knew it was a one of her kids. If she had to guess she figured it would be Jackson.

She was right. Jack’s smiling face was beaming at her as he watched her wake up. 

He was so beautiful she thought; but her little angel had a mischievous look in his eyes. She could tell that he was up to something more then his usually Saturday morning wake up call.

“Does Jake have any games on here?” he asked innocently batting his dark thick eyelashes inches away from her face. He was waving Jensen’s phone around in his little hand, pressing all kinds of buttons trying to get it to work for him. She leaned into his face and tickled her nose against his and made both of them giggle.

“Good morning to you too buddy.” She stretched out hoping to feel Jensen beside her but Jack was the only other person in the room.

“You shouldn’t touch things that don’t belong to you Little Love. Gimme that okay.” she rubbed her eyes and sat up.

She hasn’t slept this well in weeks, it felt way too good. She checked the time, apparently Jensen let her sleep in. He’s too good to her she though proudly. After their date tonight she plans on returning the favor tomorrow morning.

Jackson tossed her Jensen’s phone without protest and skipped out into the living room saying something about playing Lego with his older brother. She smiled at his playful nature and boundless energy. Her kids were the coolest; she didn’t care if it was a biased opinion; they were simply the best.

Jensen’s message screen was already open when she flipped the phone over to turn if off and she was not prepared for what caught her eye. Her whole world stopped

An sudden gasp passed her lips and she covered her mouth in horror. She blinked a couple of times in pure shock, not believing her own eyes. She couldn’t help herself, she knew she shouldn’t but she started scrolling.

Naked picture after naked picture of the same woman. Some were sexy and coy; others were dark and dirty. There were links to videos that judging by the small thumbnail were of a the same woman again pleasuring herself in various poses. Porn isn’t something that bothers her at all. But this was different. These were all hardcore graphic pictures of his ex girlfriend Mandi.

She couldn’t stomach anymore and stopped scrolling. She had seen more then enough. There were dozens on here.

I guess she _is_ a model after all she uncharitably thought and tossed his phone on her nightstand.

What the hell was going on? Are they sexting each other? She thought she was going to be sick.

Jensen can’t be cheating on her. Can he?

“ _No he isn’t!”_ She internally screamed at herself and squeezed her eyes shut.

No, there has to be some other explanation. There is no way that he would do this. She leaned back into her pillow and tried to think this through.

She didn’t believe in him the night he had his nightmare. She thought the worst of him and didn’t want to make the same mistake again. They wanted a future together. She was ready now. He couldn’t be giving her a key to his place one minute and cheating on her the next. That didn’t make any sense.

They have been through so much together in such a short period of time. They trusted each other with their weaknesses, struggles, and vulnerabilities. They influenced and supported each others decision to go into therapy. He was her best friend.  

He said he loved her the night before he left. Well not really _to_ her; she was half asleep at the time, but she was sure she heard it. Maybe she misunderstood him and heard what she wanted to hear?

All the memories of her cheating husband came flying back. She told herself the same things about Ryan. He pushed for them to get married when she got pregnant, why would he cheat on her before they reached their first wedding anniversary? She rationalized all her suspicions back then.

She doubted all the proof that was right in front of her eyes. She was willfully blind and didn’t want to believe her own husband would hurt her like that. She wondered if she was doing the same thing right now with Jensen and her heart started to go into a free fall.

She loves Jensen. He doesn’t know it yet, but despite all her efforts she’s fallen for him really hard. This is why she didn’t get involved with anyone since her divorce. This was the kind of drama and heartbreak she wanted to avoid. She felt so stupid.

Could this be happening again?

The fear that she was working so hard on suppressing was threatening to rise up with a vengeance and strangle her. Her heart started to beat faster and she could feel her pulse in her ears.

 _Don’t fucking cry_ she told herself over and over again in her head like a mantra. _Don’t fucking cry_.

She got up out of bed and dressed quickly. Every time she saw one of those naked pictures pop up in her minds eye she said to herself again _“Don’t fucking cry”_ so far so good. That was all that she could accomplish right now. But it wasn’t good enough.

Threw her hair up into a messy bun and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She’s a smart girl right? She would have caught on at some point if Jensen was seeing someone else.

She shook her head and told herself to stay positive. It’s in her nature to give people the benefit of the doubt. She looked at herself and tried; she really did. But she couldn’t deny that those pictures and videos on his phone were a bad sign. A really bad sign.

“ _Friends with benefits”_ That’s what Mandi said right? Didn’t she also say that she was sure that Jensen would _“be coming back for more”_ too?

How did she even know that he was coming home last night? Did he text her before or after he texted her and the boys? Was this her version of a welcome home surprise? Kinda puts her little towel animal surprises to shame doesn’t it. She felt so humiliated.

She paced around her room a bit and shook her wrists trying to shake herself out of this pit of self doubt. Stop doing this to yourself she told herself. They had such a wonderful homecoming. She tried to focus on how special Jensen made her feel. That had to be real right?

Ryan would make her feel special after he fucked someone else too. Shit. Every positive thought was countered by a seemingly more convincing negative one.

Nothing made sense to her anymore. Everything she knew to be true was put into question. Maybe she wasn’t so smart after all.

This Mandi girl was a piece of work; but she was also gorgeous, polished and put together. She pulled off sexy like nobody’s business. It was easy to see what men found so attractive about her.

She tried to listen to that little voice coming from her heart that told her _“Jensen would never hurt you”_ But her insecurities were louder and they drowned it out. All she ended up doing was going back to the mirror to study her reflection; comparing herself to his ex girlfriend.

Of course this would happen. Her bitter thoughts completely taking over. Of course he would choose his ex over her. What could he possibly see in her? She couldn’t give him the things a girl like Mandi could offer. She has so many responsibilities, she can’t drop everything at moments notice and do fun things with him like normal new couples do. They couldn’t even be loud in bed because her kids were down the hall.

Mandi didn’t have the same kind of demands placed on her time. All of her attention could be focused on Jensen and making him happy. Those pictures and videos were evidence of that.

She spent so much time and effort planning Jensen’s surprise in his apartment; not to mention a special date she had set up for them. Was that even going to happen now?

She was happy to do all of it; but at the same time she was sad that she didn’t have the time to do things like that for him all the time. She wished there were more hours in the day to make him feel special and important.

But she’s a mom before anything else. Her attention will always be pulled first and foremost towards her children. They always come first. Jensen deserves a woman that is free to make him her main priority. She only wants whats best for him. These realities forced waves of sadness to washed over her.

She felt warm tears pooling in her eyes at the thought of loosing him and seeing him happier with someone else.

As if on cue Jensen came bouncing into her bedroom without a care in the world with a toothbrush in his mouth.

“Mornin’ beautiful.” he took his toothbrush out of his mouth and kissed her cheek. “The kids have had breakfast and are playing in their room. I just ran home to grab my toothbrush and some clothes.” he playfully swatted her ass and went into her bathroom none the wiser to what was going on with her. “Babe? Is this camo colored toothbrush in here for me? So fucking cool Q.” he called out with laughter in his voice.

“Ya it is.” She tried to blink away her tears and pull herself together. But the pain in her chest intensified now that he was here with her.

She could hear him brushing his teeth in her sink and took some deep trembling breaths. _Don’t fucking cry_ she told herself again.

“Hey I forgot to tell you last night. You’ll never guess who’s gettin’ hitched? Pooch finally bit the bullet and asked Jolene. They haven’t set a date but he said maybe sometime in the fall.” He poked his head out still brushing his teeth. “Wanna be my date Q Ball?” he smirked with toothpaste in the corners of his mouth. He ducked back in before she responded.

“Yeah.” she answered in a small voice more to herself then to him. She really did want to be his date. She swallowed hard and sat on the edge of her bed and waited for him to finish. She felt dizzy.

He strolled out to her dripping with playful confidence.

“Thanks for my cool new toothbrush. You really know how to spoil a guy!” he leaned down to her and kissed her forehead. “You’re really taking this whole next step thing…wait…what’s wrong?” His face fell when took a better look at her and realized something was terribly wrong. It was almost as if that special happy light behind her eyes had gone out.

“What happened?” he squatted in front of her and tried to look her in the eye. But she refused to meet his gaze.

“Are we going to be together in the fall? I don’t know about this whole next step thing Jake.” She kept her voice steady but tried not to look at him for fear that it would undo all of the success she was having keeping her tears at bay. The heaviness in her chest made it hard for her to breath.

“This again?” his face fell. Disappoint hit him hard. All the air left his lungs and he hung his head in front of her.

“Maybe you should give Mandi a call.” she said plainly trying to keep all emotion from her voice but her heart started beating faster and her stomach was in painful knots.

“Why?” he asked suspiciously looking up at her. Why the fuck is her name coming up now?

“I just want to give you an opportunity to sort things out with her.” She was talking a mile a minute and couldn’t slow her breathing.

“Give things another shot you know. Maybe she’s the sorta girl you should be with.” she nodded her head quickly and tried to sound convincing but the words came clumsily out of her mouth like they never belonged there in the first place. Her lungs were burning she was breathing so fast; she felt like she was being swept way. She wondered for a second if she was having a panic attack.

“Are you joking? Please be joking. That’s not funny Quinn.” he started to realize that she was serious and couldn’t hide the horrified look on his face.

“Where is this coming from?” He reached out and rubbed the tops of her thighs trying to comfort her. She looked so frazzled and lost. Fuck he could feel her body trembling.

“Calm down Babe. What’s going on? Why do you think I’d want to be with her?” He was starting to panic a little himself.

“I dunno, she’s gorgeous and sexy. She’s a walking Barbie doll.” she tried to take a deep breath but felt like she was choking. “I’m sure she has all kinds of free time to hang out with you.” You have naked pictures of her on your phone she screamed in her head.

“You’re gorgeous and sexy Q.” he tried to keep a soothing voice as if speaking to a child. The way she was frantically looking around the room he wondered if she could even hear him right now.

He shook his head in confusion. “Free time? What difference does that make?”

There had to be something more going on. Maybe she really didn’t want to be with him. How many more reasons can she come up with for them not to be together?

He watched her try and rapidly suck air into her lungs as she continued to panic. He was worried that if she kept this up she would hyperventilate.

“It makes all the difference in the world Jake.” she took a series of short shallow breaths  “I have kids. I have a routine and responsibilities. They have to come first.”

She got up started to pace the room but he followed her and held her in place; hoping to calm her.

“They come first for me too. I get that..” he tried to reassure her but she kept rambling and trembling in his arms. His heart was breaking for her. He wished he never laid eyes on Amanda.

“I can’t run off and drop everything.” Her teeth started to chatter and she kept her arms at her sides. She fears if she holds him back and accepts his affection she’ll break. She could smell Jake and his body wash. The warmth that his body brought hers, swelled her already breaking heart. He held her close in his strong unyielding arms ; every muscle in his body tense with stress and fear.

“I don’t have time to look like a super model everyday. I can’t always be the ‘fun’ girlfriend that you deserve.” All of her fears just came spilling out. She felt a sharp pain in her chest. Yup, either she is dying or having a panic attack.

“What and you think _she_ was?” he sneered and rolled his eyes above her. This was crazy, he had to tell her what Amanda was all about. He was just had to wait for Quinn to calm down. He hated seeing her like this. He pressed her firmly against his chest and felt her heart racing against him.

“You moved in with this girl. You obviously had a thing for her. Now she shows up out of the blue. I can see how she’d bring up some old feelings. Maybe she’ll take you back?” The flood gates opened and tears spilled from her eyes and onto his t shirt.

He choked back his own tears and squeezed her tighter for a moment then let her go. She sniffed and put her hand over her heart. She could swear that the walls were closing in on her.  She wished she could just turn down the volume in her brain and quiet the chaos.

“Q there are no old feelings and I broke up with her. Sit down babe, you’re white as a ghost.” He exhaled deeply and shook his head, he couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Why? Why did you break up with her?” she asked as she sat on the edge of the bed and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“Well you met her I’m sure you have some idea.” he rubbed his hand down his face. He couldn’t believe that Amanda could still manage fuck with his life. He wondered when he’ll be rid of her for good.

“But as bad as she was… I had enough after my knee.” he said softly, grimacing at the old memory.

“Your knee?” she was confused but trying to steady her breathing. Focusing on him and his voice helped.

He took a deep breath and looked at her with a hurt expression. He was going to tell her all of it, but decided to start there.

“Breathe Quinn. Or I’ll stop talking.” He looked her seriously in the eye and she tried to do as he said. “I messed up my knee on a mission last year and needed surgery.”

“Oh my god Jake! That’s terrible. You never told me that. You had surgery? What happened? Are you okay now?” she hated the idea of him being hurt it shook her out of her own misery for a moment.

“See! Thank you! See this is what I’m talking about!” he looked around the room grateful as if he had successfully summoned some kind of divine intervention.

He took two quick strides over to her and brought her face to his and kissed her with as much love and tenderness as he could muster.

He pulled away but didn’t let go of her face. He looked into her blue eyes desperate to make his point.

“ _You. Give. A. Shit. Quinn._ You cared more about me in the past 15 seconds then she did the whole time I was hurt. She never asked me _once_ if I was okay.”

He was getting mad just thinking about that time in his life. He let go of her and took a step back.

She has never seen him this upset. They had fought before and gotten heated but she has never seen hate in his eyes before. She knew him enough to know that it wasn’t directed at her. She looked down to the floor but continued to listen to the rest of his story.

“You think she’d spend all her free time with me? That girl wouldn’t even cancel a stupid hair appointment to pick me up from the hospital.” he spit out bitterly.

“That can’t be right.” she countered. She figured he was being hyperbolic. She had a hard time believing anyone could be so cold.

“True story Q. I had to take a fucking _taxi_ from the hospital. I was too embarrassed to call anyone else.” he said through his teeth.

“Oh Jake.” she didn’t know what to say. Her breathing began to return to normal while she empathized with how that must have made him feel. How could a person could be so selfish? But she met the woman, it didn’t seem that far fetched for her.

“Would you do that to me?” He asked but he already knew the answer.  

“Of course not. I wouldn’t even to that to Roque!” 

She meant it as a joke, but he believed her. Her heart was too big, she cared about people.

“Funny. I might though.” he dryly joked raising a eyebrow. She smiled a little but kept her eyes trained on the floor.

She’s scaring the crap outta me and we’re still cracking jokes; maybe we really are meant for each other he thought.

“Look.” he ran his hands through his hair in frustration and let out a deep breath.

“Whats the point of have all this “free time” if you spend it with someone like that? I’d rather wait around all day for the five minutes you have between the kids carpool & swim classes, then fly off with her for the weekend.”

She looked up at him with her big blue eyes and he suddenly felt so responsible for all of this.

“I’m sorry you don’t know how much you mean to me. I’m bad at this stuff.” he nervously rubbed the back of his neck.  

He considered himself so lucky when first started dating Mandi. She looked like she just stepped out of a magazine or something. He put up with a lot of her selfish crap to be with her and it wore him down. He thought he deserved it for some reason. Until he met Quinn.

It was exhausting trying to make Amanda happy. They really had nothing in common. Come to think about it that was probably the loneliest time of his life.

“What started all of this Q? Last night was…it was _awesome_. Wasn’t it?” It was for him, he knows he didn’t imagine it.

“It was…” She took a deep breath and decided to be brave. “Jack was playing with your phone this morning and…

“ _SSSSSHIT!”_ he interrupted louder then he had intended. This was starting to make sense. _“_ Why didn’t you tell me you saw those? Is that what this is all about?” he started to explain but she cut him off.

“I wasn’t snooping. Jack was looking for games..” she tried to explain.

“Quinn it’s not what you think. I don’t care if you go into my phone. I was changing my pass code to your birthday; then the kids woke up…” He ran his hand down his face, the pieces were starting to fall together for him. Of course having those pictures on his phone looked bad. He already knows what she went through with her asshole ex husband.

“I totally get porn Jensen. I don’t care about that. But she a beautiful girl that you were involved with. I feel like cheat-…”

“Q let me finish.” he exhaled deeply. Maybe he could fix some of this after all. “Those weren’t for me. She never did anything like that for me when we were together. She wants me to do the impossible and try and get all of them off the internet. There is _nothing_ go on between us.”

“That’s the personal problem she had?” she asked. That made sense. Jensen is a genius hacker.

“Yeah. She sent them to this really classy guy she was sleeping with and he posted them to a revenge porn site. She so fucking arrogant, she thinks I’m going to risk going to jail or loosing my job to help her out.” He put his hands on his hips and shook his head in disbelief. “…I mean I could maybe, and cover my tracks. I like the challenge. But it’s like a giant game of wacka mole if this guy wants to keep putting them on them on the web.”

“So you’re not 'friends with benefits’?” she figured she already knew the answer but wanted to get everything out in the open.

“Is that what she said?” he scoffed. “I haven’t seen or heard from her in almost 6 months. I’m all yours Quinn. I’m sorry you didn’t know that already.”

She pressed her lips together and looked away embarrassed. She freaked out for nothing.

“Baby, there’s about a 100 different ways that I could mess things up with us. But cheating on you would never be one of them.” he looked down at her on the bed. She was back to her old beautiful self again. She was still sad but her breathing was back to normal and she had some color back in her cheeks. He wished he could enjoy her like this a little longer, but there was more he had to tell her about his ex.

“I’m sorry.” she said and started to nervously chew on the inside of her cheek. She felt terrible for putting them both through this. He gave her a sad regretful smile and sat down beside her with a loud sigh.

“There’s something else I have to tell you.” he paused and cleared his throat.

“Remember before I left and you were so worried that I wouldn’t be ready to have you and the kids in my life?” He paused and reached behind him to grab [her grandmothers “love” blanket](http://heather-lynn.tumblr.com/post/142255013828/qa-with-jensen-quinn-1-35) from the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. She might need it.

“Yeah” she was worried the second he brought up the kids. She wrapped the soft blanket around her a little tighter. Where was he going with this?

“Well there’s something that I never told you…well I never told anyone.” He tried to will away the hard lump in his throat. He took a second to wonder how he was going to put into words something that he has tried so hard to forget let alone speak out loud.

“I after my knee surgery I was pissed. Like really pissed; and I confronted her when she got home. She always hated my job and bugged me to get some civilian job that paid more money. She acted like I deserved to get hurt because I picked such a shitty career. We fought about a lot of things but for her everything came down to money…”

Quinn reached out and held his hand. He paused for a moment and looked at her hand in his. She could see how hard this was for him to get out. She could feel the anxiety and sadness radiating through him, she wanted to take it all way and make it better for him they way he tried to fix everything for her.

“Yeah…so leaving me to fend for myself at the hospital was the last straw. I was done. I was so fed up trying to make her happy. It was fucking impossible…”

He looked at Quinn’s pretty face and thought it was so easy to make her smile. On cue she gave him an adorable supportive grin that warmed his heart; if only for a moment.

“So I grew some balls and kicked her out…maybe it was all the drugs I was on.” he halfheartedly joked.

“But before she left she wanted to get once last dig in. She told me that a few weeks earlier when I was away for work she…” he took a deep trembling breath and held on to her hand tighter trying to draw the strength to continue.

“She had an abortion.” Saying it out loud physically hurt. “I had no idea she was even pregnant. She threw it in my face as a parting gift I guess.” he added with a shrug.

“Oh Jake.” She rubbed his back as he looked down at their linked hands; but didn’t know what to say. She was shocked.

“I asked her why.” he continued. Her hand on his back helped sooth the ache in his chest.

“She told me that it was all my fault. I was the reason she did it.  I would end up being a broke deadbeat that was never around. She didn’t want to be stuck with a loser like me forever and raising a military brat.” he sniffed and she rested her chin on his shoulder and felt all his pain along with him.

“She never even asked me if I wanted it; you know? I get that it’s her choice and all. I might have even helped her through it. But she didn’t even want to know how I felt about it. She just used it as a weapon to fuck me up.”

They heard a little knock on her bedroom door and Jensen stood up quickly and rubbed the tears from his eyes. He kept his back to her and the door. She suspected he was trying to hold himself together and hide his pain from the kids.

Cooper wanted to know if he could watch a movie. She nodded and left to set it up for him.

She came back into her room and Jensen was where she had left him. She came behind him and  wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek on his back.

“I’m sorry I freaked out about her. I lost it. Sometimes I just don’t know what you see in me.” she confessed.

“I could write a whole book about what I see in you Quinn.” he sniffed

“I’m the only author in this family silly.” she heard him snicker “You’re just being cute.” she sighed and started making the bed.

He watched her wrestle with her comforter for a moment and realized that she was being serious. She really had no idea how beautiful and wonderful she was. She didn’t know how she had changed his life.

“Stop.” he said absentmindedly, and walked over to her and held her hips so that she was standing in front of him.

“Jake…” she started but stopped when she saw the serious look on his face.

“She made me believe that I shouldn’t be a father. But I’ve always wondered since then what it would have been like.” he choked out.

He didn’t want to admit it but since he met Quinn he started to feel like maybe he dodged a bullet. He would have married Amanda and he wouldn’t be standing here with the woman of her dreams.

“It made me take a look at my life and figure out what mattered to me and what didn’t. My job and friends are important but I _do_ want a family. It was a decision I made before I met you. I just wasn’t sure I deserved it until you came along.” he loved her so much it hurt.

“I thought I wanted a baby of my own. But then I met Coop and Jack…and well… all of that doesn’t seem as important anymore. I feel like I already have a family. My kids were just born before I got to meet them”

She started to run her arms along his forearms. She had to touch him.

“Being with you and the kids has changed me. I feel like maybe you fixed something inside me that she broke… and as far what I see in you… well you’re a mom.”

“So you _are_ into milfs” she teased while happy tears filled her eyes.

“Yeah. Cooper asked me this morning what that meant and I spit my coffee all over the table!” They both howled with loud cathartic laughter.

“No. Really. What I mean is you’re a mom even without kids.” he stated like it was the most normal sentiment, but she looked at him in confusion like he had two heads.

“I mean.” he jiggled her by her hips playfully. “You care about people. It’s endearing and sweet. You’re a mom to everyone. I think that’s what I love about you the most. You look after people. You look after the boys, Clay and Mallory. People in general. You definitely look after me. You helped me through so much. Not just the ptsd stuff. You..” he paused and swallowed hard “You give me hope that maybe I’m worth something, that I could be a good man… you’re kinda my hero Quinn…and you’re _super hot_ too.” he added with a laugh.

“You love me?” she whispered carefully as she stared into his chest.

He breathed in sharply and couldn’t hide the shocked look on his face. Yes he used the big L word. He didn’t plan it. This time she was awake and heard it.

“Yeah. I do.” he answered breathlessly.

He couldn’t lie. He looked into her eyes and meant every word. But he had no idea if she felt the same way. His heart was beating so fast and his palms started to sweat. He just finished convincing her last night that he was going to stop pushing, and here he was the next day confessing that he was in love with her. Smooth move. He should have waited until she was ready. He’d wait for her forever if he had to.

“But hey…you don’t have to say it back. I get it. No pressure remember?” he spoke quickly and wished he could find some clever way to get out of this situation. He let go of her hips and turned away from her and ran his hands through his hair in a panic. He tried to come up with some kind of joke to get out of this situation; but for the first time in his life he couldn’t come up with a damn thing. Maybe it was his turn to have a panic attack?

“I love you too.” she said clearly and quietly.

He spun around quickly to make sure he heard her properly.

She shrugged and gave him a cute smile. His heart nearly broke in two with happiness. It felt euphoric.

“You’re _my_ hero Jake. You showed me that I wasn’t really living. My life is in color now since I met you.” she took a breath and looked into his loving blue eyes.

“I’ve loved you for so long now.” she slowly continued. He gave her an encouraging sympathetic smile as her voice broke.

“…I just didn’t want to fall in love so quickly. I thought it would break us.”

Her eyes were filling so quickly with new tears. She wasn’t sure if they were happy tears or fearful ones. She did love him deeply, but the last time she let herself feel these things it ended in disaster, she didn’t want to risk the same thing happening with Jensen.

“Nothing is gunna break us Q Ball. We wont let it.” he assured her with an easy confidence.

He pulled her against his body and kissed her lovingly with all the emotion and love in his heart. She did the same. She believed in him. She believed that together they were strong enough to face anything.  

For the first time since she could remember her past trauma didn’t weigh heavy on her heart. 

That weight had been lifted off her shoulders with his love, patience, and support. He was the future she wanted for herself and her children and she was finally at peace with that.


	7. "Second First Date"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quinn takes Jensen on his dream date.

**Jensen & Quinn**

**All That I'm Asking For: Chapter 7 "Second First Date"**

“You gotta go home J.” Quinn said with a matter of fact tone from the other side of  her living room.

They had a very eventful Saturday together after surviving all the drama on his cell phone and confessing that they were in love with each other; but it was getting late and she had to send the kid packing.

Tonight was date night.

Before he left on this last mission he made it clear that he wanted to take a break and start their relationship over again. He decided that she needed to ask him out and call all the shots. Hence taking him on their second “first date.”

His ill devised plan was to try and get her to fight for him and figure out if she really wanted to move forward in their relationship. Or if she wanted him at all.

After everything that has happen since he came home all of that seemed a little irrelevant; but she didn’t want all of her plans to go to waste. The way that he looked after her since her panic attack earlier today made her want to spoil him more then ever.

“Why are ya kickin’ me out?” Jensen ask with his brow furrowed in confusion from the couch.

He had Jack and Cooper cuddled up on either side of him. They were halfway into a Disney movie and looked so snugly and cute together. There was a big part of her that wanted to curl up on the couch next to them and stay home.

Seeing all her boys together like that warmed her heart in ways she didn’t know were possible.

“The sitter is gunna be here soon and I have to get ready for our date.”

“So go get ready.” he dismissed her and wrapped his arms around the boys a little tighter and focused back on the movie.

Little Jack looked so tired. Both of the boys did; playing with super big kid Jensen all day will do that to you.

She stood there and gave him a pointed look. He was not going to mess up tonight, it didn’t matter how cute and snugly he looked.

“Whaaat?” he could feel her eyes on him. “We’re watchin’ a movie?” he whined and gave her his most adorable pathetic puppy dog look.

For a second she almost gave him and let him stay. That little pouty lip he gave her was going to be dangerous in the future she discovered. She’d do cartwheels to make that man happy.

“This is supposed to be our first date with all the bells and whistles. You have to shower, get ready and I’ll properly pick you up at your door.”

“I can get ready here what’s the big deal?”

He could read the disappointment on her face and got up to talk to her. The kids barely registered his absence; their sleepy attention was solely on their show. They ended up falling into each other like an accordion and resting against each other. Jack’s head nestling into his older brothers lap.

“What’s the big deal Q. You know this whole ‘ask me out’ first date thing doesn’t really matter now. Why are you so bent outta shape?” he asked against her forehead before he kissed it.

“I’m not bent outta shape. I just want to do this right. You’re getting the 5 star treatment. Just humor me okay.”

“Five star treatment? I thought this was just dinner and a movie kinda deal? Do I have to dress up?”

“Nope! This date is all about you. Just be yourself. T-shirt and jeans are fine.”

“If this date is all about me..how about we skip the dress code all together and just hang out at my place? A no clothes required kinda deal.” He gave her a slick smile and pulled her closer to him.

“Trust me I’m tempted.” she ran her hands over his chest. “But I want you to know how much you mean to me.” she reached up and softly held his face in her hands  “ I want tonight to be special. I’ve been pulling strings and planning this the whole time you were gone.” she confessed.

“I’ve never had anyone do that for me before.” he smiled proudly and leaned into her hand to kiss her palm. Taking a break was such a stupid idea in hindsight, he never should have put them through that.

“You’re worth it.” she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his warm chest.  She was so happy that all of the drama of the morning was past them. She honestly thought she was going to losing him earlier today. She exhaled deeply and felt so relived and grateful that they were okay. She took a moment to listen to his steady strong heartbeat.

“Is that why you’ve been on the phone all afternoon?” he rubbed her back and savored the feeling of her against his chest. He wonders if she’ll always have this effect on him. There was no doubt in his mind that this is what love is supposed to feel like; he never wanted this feeling to end.

“Maybe.” she answered coyly “I’ll put the boys to bed and be over to pick you up at..” she checked her watch. “Shit babe you gotta go. I’ll be there in an hour and a half okay.” she ignored his eye rolling and turned his body towards the door.

“Bye guys! I’ll see you in the morning. Be good for your mom okay.” he waved to the kids on the couch and only Coop waved back; Jack was fast asleep. She kept one hand on his back as she lead him out.

He opened the door and pulled her into the hallway with a swift yank of her arm and kissed her deeply with unreserved passion. She fell into his chest and closed the door behind her while she gave into his soft demanding lips. He grabbed her ass with both hands and pressed her against the wall beside her door.

Christ she tasted so good; he didn’t want to stop and judging by the way she started sucking on his tongue and bottom lip she didn’t either.

Would this hungry ever by satisfied he wondered? He didn’t care, he pressed her harder into the wall and kissed down her neck. His heart rate soaring while she ran her nails down his back.

Right now he wasn’t sure if this was purely love that he was feeling. Maybe it was a different animal? It sure as hell was a passion he’s never felt before. Everything just kept getting better the longer he was with Quinn.

In the back of his mind he wondered if he could get away with fucking her against this very wall.

“Jake?” she moaned while he licked and sucked along her collar bone. His strong erection pressed firmly against her.

“Hmm?” was all he could do to acknowledge her.

“Go home baby.” she breathed and pressed her two hands on his chest and tried to push him off her body.

He sighed deeply in defeat and looked up into her eyes. Her usual bright blue eyes were almost black with lust.

“Really?” he asked breathlessly in disbelief. Slightly annoyed.

“Please, I can’t say no to you right now. Please…” he ended her sentence with his lips against hers. He couldn’t help it. They were red and pouty, he didn’t have the willpower. She gave in and let his tongue past her lips. She kissed him back and ran her fingers through his hair the way he liked.

“Ah Quinn?” her babysitter hesitantly interrupted them a few feet away. They didn’t hear her enter the hallway. They were a little busy.

Jensen didn’t turn to face her; instead he ran his hand down his face and positioned Quinn in front of him hoping to discretely hide the potentially embarrassing situation happening in his pants.

“I’m so sorry Robin!” she took a deep breath and shook her head while she tried to remember where she was and what was going on. Her legs felt like jello; Jensen had that effect on her.

“Ummm You’ve met Jake right?” she tried to normalize her breathing and pretend like everything was normal.

“Yeah…”

He gave her a halfhearted wave behind Quinn. This wasn’t awkward at all.

She backed up into Jensen and he took a step or two back so that she could open the door.

“The boys are really looking forward to seeing you. Jack is already asleep on the couch.” she ushered her in while Jensen hid behind the door frame. She peeked around to check on him and he gave her a quick peck on the lips while he groaned impatiently and rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be at your door before you know it. Let me get pretty first ok.” she whispered quickly.

“Are you trying to kill me? You’re gorgeous right now. Just come back to my place.” he whined.

He snaked his hand around her waist and whispered into her ear. “You have no idea how hard I wanna fuck you right now.”

“Jake…” she had no other words. Her heart and body were his. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t consider it. Of course she did. She ached for him.

She was surprised that she could summon the willpower to close the door on him. She pressed the palm of her hand against the door and tried to clear her head. She could half hear him cursing to himself on the other side of the door.   

Damn that kid she smiled to herself and tried to get her head on straight. Tonight was going to fun.

* * *

Just because she told Jensen to dress comfortably didn’t mean she was going to. She planned on going all out. A nice dress, heels, hair and makeup; the works. Well as much as she could pull off in under an hour including a shower.

She loved the idea of dressing up for him.  Her and Mallory already found the cutest strapless kerchief style dress that had a nice geometric black and white pattern. She already had an extra pair of flats in her car in case her heels decide to torture her later on. Everything she had planned for tonight centered around him and that included what she picked out to wear. He loved it when she was a little girly, and tonight she wanted to impress him.

She grabbed all her supplies and looked in on the boys who were already sleeping soundly in their beds. Then gave herself another quick once over in the hallway mirror.

Stop being nervous she silently told herself. This is just Jensen.

What a silly thought, she smiled to herself. “Just Jensen” who was she kidding?

“Just Jensen” completely came out of nowhere and swept her off her feet. Not only was she dating again after all these years but she was already head over heels in love with him.

No he wasn’t “Just Jensen” he was “Her Jensen” and he completely changed her life. She never would have gone into therapy and tried to deal with her traumatic past if he hadn’t suggested it and supported her. He made her feel alive again.

She welcomed the butterflies. This is what love feels like. She relished the sensation and realized that the fear that had plagued her for so long was gone.

* * *

Jensen was hanging out in his empty condo next door counting down the minutes till he saw her again. It took him a grand total of 15 minutes to shower and change. He’s spent the last 45 minutes bored to tears and playing the drums with a pair of chopsticks on his kitchen island trying to pass the time.

Ever since he started dating Quinn he hated his place. Everything there felt so cold and empty without her and the boys. He avoided it whenever he could. He tried to fight it, but her house was his home.

He adopted Duke, his boston terrier, to help keep him company. But even his own dog would rather stay at Quinn’s place. He couldn’t blame the little guy. Between the attention he got from Q and the boys and the playtime he got with their french bulldog Daisy; he lived like a king over there. In times like this he couldn’t help but be a little jealous of the little guy.

All he could think of the entire time he was away was getting back to Quinn. He’d only been back a night and they have already been through so much. Seeing her freak out this morning bothered him more then he thought it would. He didn’t want to leave her side for a second.

He had to force himself to calm down and remind himself to stop pushing her. But he still wanted it all. He’d marry her and adopt the boys in a heartbeat if she gave him the green light. Somehow the idea of a forever commitment didn’t scare the crap outta him at all.

But she didn’t work that way and he was starting to understand that about her. Beneath all of her happy dorky loving softness she was still fragile and gun shy.

She was so beautiful, smart and funny. He assumed that she was more confident then she actually was. But considering all that she has been through in her life between loosing both her parents as a kid and her abusive ex husband, he couldn’t really blame her for being guarded.

He closed his eyes and remembered how it felt to hold her this morning while her body trembled. He never wanted her to feel like that again if he could help it.  

He had to keep telling himself that if he was going to be with this girl forever all of these labels he wanted so badly didn’t matter. Being with her was a marathon not a sprint. Hearing her tell him she loved him this morning put his whole world into focus.

It was nearly 8:00 and he was wondering what was keeping her. He shook his head and smiled to himself; stop being such a whiny little bitch.  

Moments later he heard a small knock on his door and almost fell off his chair.

He was not prepared for what he saw. She was stunning. Her long dark hair fell around her shoulders and she was in a sexy fancy dress. She was perfect.

He just stood there blinking for a moment when it dawned on him the situation he was in; and a sharp feeling of dread seized his heart.

Oh NO!

“What’s wrong J? You look horrified.” her big beautiful smile was quickly fading while she read his terrified expression.

He quickly looked down at himself. “I can’t go out with you looking like this!” he furrowed his brow and pulled at his t-shirt.

She melted, he was the cutest.

“Whew. I thought maybe you hated my dress!” she laughed and did a cute little curtsey.

“No babe. You look like a million bucks. You’re so fancy. I just need to change.”

She grabbed his arm and pulled him out into the hallway.

“Trust me. You’re perfect.” she insisted and smiled up at him.

Looking into her big sincere blue eyes he almost believed her.

“Here these are for you.” she handed him a colorful bouquet of crafted lollipops made to look like flowers and he let out a loud laugh that echoed through the hallway.

“You said you wanted flowers and candy.”

“Should I go put them in water?” he teased and raised a questioning eyebrow.

“No, but you could share.” she teased back with a wink.

He took two out and handed her one as he locked up behind him.

“So where are we goin’ pretty lady?”

“Oh shit I almost forgot.” she popped the lollipop into her mouth and rummaged through her clutch and pulled out a small folded silk scarf. She stretched it out and held it up to his face.

“Huh?” he questioned with his lollipop sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

“Lights out buddy. It’s a surprise.”

He smiled and shook his head while he humored her. She hooked their arms together and lead him down the hallway then into the parking lot. She tried to keep from giggling the whole way.

Her heart sank when she saw who was waiting for them by his truck.

“Jacob?” his ex girlfriend called out.

She could hear all the air leaving his lungs at once when her voice registered with him.  

“Fuck this shit. I’m keeping the blindfold on.” he joked and stuck the lollipop back into his mouth. She couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“I got this babe.” she assured him.

She went around to the passenger side of her car and helped him in so he didn’t bump his head. All the while she heard the clicking of Mandi’s heels on the pavement getting closer. The nerve of this woman.

“Jacob I can see you!” she hissed in his direction before she had a chance to close the car door for him. Tonight was all about Jake, there was no way she was going to let this woman ruin it.

Quinn pivoted around her and fished her car keys out from her small clutch. She opened her door took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before getting in.

“You know stalking isn’t a very good look on you.” she stared her down from the other side of the car. “I suggest you cool it with the _selfies_ and get a lawyer to help you out with your little _personal problem_ and leave my boyfriend the fuck out of it.”

She looked at her like she slapped her across the face with her words. Once the shock of her attack worn off Mandi actually looked a little embarrassed and Quinn couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

She regretted her harsh tone immediately. She’s already won; she has Jensen; she doesn’t really need to hurt this girl.

Mandi must not have considered the possibility that Jensen would tell her the real reason she wanted his help. But Jensen told her everything. She even knew things about his work that she shouldn’t know.

She could only imagine how embarrassing it must be having pictures like that on a revenge porn site. But trying to get Jensen to break the law and hack into the site was outrageous. But she hated that she sunk down to her level.

She resisted the urge to add insult to injury and tell her what she really thought of her and all the hurtful things she did to Jensen in the past. The look she had on her face reminded her that she was still a human being after all.

“Seriously Mandi. Go get a lawyer. See what they can do. Okay.” her tone was considerably softer then it was before and all Mandi did was nod and take a step away from the car.

Once they had left the parking lot she started to breath a little easier and tried to get back into the spirit of the evening. Having Jensen large warm hand on her thigh was helping. He smelled so good, she couldn’t help but smile at his large frame barely fitting into her little hatchback.

“You okay?” he asked referring to what happened in the parking lot.

“Yeah. I’m good.” She meant it. After this morning there was no way she was going to let Mandi come between them again.

“You were sorta a cute little bad ass back there….you know that I texted her and told her to back off and that I wasn’t going to help her right?” he started to sound much too serious “Can I take this off?” referring to the blindfold “ I feel dumb talking about this with this on.”

“Then lets not talk about it then.” she countered trying to keep things light and fun.

“Good plan.” He answered easily with laughter in his voice. He seemed relieved and just like that he was back on the same page as she was.

She was getting so excited to show him where they were going; he was going to love it. This was the kind of thing she wished she could do for him all the time.

“Any hints?”

“Nope! We’re almost there. Sit tight.” she pulled into the empty parking lot and saw Mallory and Clay waiting for them near the front of the big dark building.

“One minute babe. I gotta get the keys.”

“Huh?”

She jumped out of the car and ran over to her friend the best she could in her heels. She tried to ignore the disapproving look her big brother was giving her while she hugged and greeted her bestie.  

“A little dressed up for laser tag are we?” Clay did not sound impressed. She wondered if his homecoming with Mallory was going as well as hers was with Jensen.

“Shhh! He doesn’t know yet!”

He looked past her and saw Jensen blindfolded in her car and smirked before he sighed and rolled his eyes.

“You two are made for each other.” he teased and kissed her cheek.

“Okay Sweetie. There’s beer in the cooler and everything is set up. You just have to press the green button behind the counter and everything should start. That “thing” you were asking about is in the back, I turned it on. Lock up when you’re done and I’ll get the keys from you in the morning.” Mallory explained while she excitedly squeezed her hand.

“Roger. Thank you sooo much!”

She was so grateful that her friend had such cool connections. Mallory knew the owner and pulled some strings for her and Jensen. They were renovating the second half of the business so they were already closed down for the weekend. Mallory called in a favor and got them the laser tag half to themselves for the night. This was going to be so cool.

She opened Jensen’s door and helped him out. He was being so patient, it was adorable.

“Captain” Clay greeted him in an official voice.

Jensen recognized his boss’s voice and hung his head and sighed. He looked ridiculous with the blindfold still in place and a lollipop hanging out of his mouth. He wasn’t expecting to see his Clay tonight. Great.

“Colonel” he answered in a serious official voice and nodded in his general direction.

Quinn and Mallory looked at each other and tried to suppress their laughter.

“Bye guys. Thanks again.” Quinn gave her brother a funny scowl that made him chuckle and ushered them to their car.

“For a second there I thought we were on a double date.”

“Sorry about that. I didn’t know Clay was going to be here with Mal. I actually have no idea what’s going on with them right now; I’ll call her tomorrow. Tonight is all about you my love.” she apologized and took his arm.

“No worries babe. But there’s no chance I’ll ever live this down by the way.”

“If he bullies you I’ll beat him up for you, don’t worry.” she teased him and kissed his bicep.

“Poor Clay. He doesn’t stand a chance against my sexy secret weapon.” he reached out and poked at her sides making her jump and squirm while she lead him through the front doors.

“Okay here we go. Ready?” she stood on her tip toes and untied the scarf covering his eyes and glasses and watched him adjust to his new surroundings.

“Laser Tag?” This was not what he was expecting at all. He thought she would plan some kind of romantic dinner or ballroom dancing; something really girlie. But Quinn was always full of surprises.

“Yup. Prepare to get your butt kicked Mr. Jensen!” she kicked off her heels and took off running to the counter where Mallory had already set up the gear they’d need. He just stood there with his hands on his hips and shook his head in disbelief.

“That’s Captain Jensen thank you very much.”

She saluted him quickly and stuck her tongue out at him.

“You know if I wasn’t already in love with you this would have totally sealed the deal.”

She just smiled back knowingly while she outfitted the laser tag vest over her fancy dress.

“Let’s see if you still love me after after the punishment you’re about to take babe.”

“Ohhh. You know trash talking is only gunna turn me on Q.” he teased.

“Bring it. We have the whole place to ourselves.” she reached behind the counter and pressed the green button and took off into the dark course area and left him scrambling to get into his gear.

They had such a great time. She picked out music that she knew he like and there was cold beer waiting for them, it was awesome. Neither of them could stop laughing the whole time.

She surprisingly wasn’t all that bad, she got the drop on him a few times and he was impressed. But of course he showed no mercy and with all his army training cleaned her clock.

“No fair!” she screamed when he dropped down in front of her from an overhanging ledge. He hooked her around her waist when she tried to run from him and kicked her legs up in the air. “I can’t climb anything in this dress!”  

He growled loudly and nuzzled her bare neck with his cheek. He kissed her quickly before setting her back on her bare feet. She leaned back into him while checked her watch.

“Oh shit! Food should be here by now!” she pulled off her vest and headed back into the lobby.

“Food too? Awesome I’m starving.” he took his gear off too and followed her.

“Come on. I gotta find my shoes.”

He had no idea what she was talking about. “Why do you need shoes to eat?”

“Shit! I kicked them off somewhere, where did I kick 'em?…we’re late. I don’t want him to leave.”

“What the hell are you talkin’ about Q?”

“I have a hotdog street vendor swinging by the parking lot for us.”

“Fuck I love you.”  She laughed at the breathless happy way he said that.

“You love hot dogs.” she teased.

“You’re not wrong.” he laughed and scooped her up easily over his shoulder. She squealed and swatted his butt while he carried her barefoot out into the parking lot. He spanked her back and pretended to bite at her thigh while she laughed. So far this has been the best date he’s ever been on. He can’t remember ever being this happy before.

* * *

  
About 20 minutes later they were cleaning up their makeshift picnic on the floor of the lobby and making googly eyes at each other.

“Good 'first’ date?” she asked

“Hmm. The best… and these hot dogs are delicious.” he answered with a mouthful of food making her laugh.

“It’s not over you know?” she informed him after she finished off the last of her beer.

“I know.” he answered suggestively and wiggled his eyebrows in that dorky way that she loved.

“Put out on the first date? What kind of girl do you think I am?” she raised her hand over her heart and pretended to be offended.

“You put out last night…” he teased and she smacked his arm.

“No seriously. I have one more surprise.”

“Really?” he asked in disbelief. She was just too good to be true.

She nodded her head with a big happy smile.

“Mallory said it was in the back, come on.” she stood up, smoothed out her dress and reach out her hand to help him up. Once he was standing he and pulled her close and pressed her against his body.

She thought that he was going to kiss her, but he just held her around her waist and looked at her like he wanted to say something. There was something going on behind his blue eyes and the longer he held her like that the more it worried her.

“Jake?” she whispered with concern; breaking their heavy silence.

“I really love you.” he managed to get out before his voice broke.

She smiled sweetly at him, but didn’t get a smile from him in return.

“I love you too.”

She watched him close his eyes shake his head as if her words weren’t getting through.

“What else do I have to do J? I do love you, please believe me.” she pleaded with him and held him tighter. His eyes were red and wet and she could feel his pain radiating off him in waves.

She felt her heart taking a nose dive. This night was suppose to make him happy. Seeing hims like this was so disappointing.

“I’m sorry.” he sniffed and tried to smile down at her.

“I’m the one that’s sorry. I never should have pushed you away.” She hated seeing him like this, she felt so responsible.

“You were scared. I get it. I’m scared too.”

His confession was news to her. He always seems so sure of what he wanted, at least when it comes to her and the boys.

“I’m scared that I could loose all of this. Coop called me Daddy and…” he tried to clear the hard lump from his throat “…it meant _everything_. But what if I fuck up again Q?…” he ran his hand down his face and looked down at her.

“All of the therapy in the world can’t change the fact that I almost hurt you. I can’t let myself be like my Dad. I love those kids too much. Maybe you were right to be scared.” he felt so weak and tried to pull himself together. He tried to step away from her but she refused to let him go.  

“Stop.” she ordered him firmly and refused to cry.

What happened months ago was behind them; or so she thought. She had long since forgave him for what happened. He was getting treatment for his ptsd and she was so proud of him. He had no idea what he was doing when he grabbed her during his nightmare. She trusted him with her kids and slept beside him almost every night without incident for almost 2 months now.

“ _WE_ will never let that happen. You need to forgive yourself. I forgave you a long time ago. I believe in you.”

“I’m so fucking scared sometimes that you might be afraid of me…”

“No! No Jake look at me.” she made sure his eyes stayed on hers. “I know _exactly_ what it’s like to be afraid of someone. I would never let you near me or my kids if I thought you’d hurt us.”

He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. He knew she was refereed to what happened with her ex husband, that asshole could have killed Jack before he was born. She has protected her kids every day since then. She was his little bad ass.

He was fucking up the night she planned for them. He didn’t mean to bring up all these terrible memories for her. He felt like an ass, he had only been home a day he should have picked a better time to bring up all this shit.

“Come on.” she took his hand and lead him into the back area that was under construction.

They were silent for a moment or two and it gave them a chance to pull themselves together. Holding her hand helped in ways she’ll never know.

He looked around the large room. It looked like they were building an arcade. All the machines were covered with large white tarps, except for one that was turned on in the corner. The colorful lights made the room glow.

“Pinball?”

“Yup. Wanna play with me?”

“You know Pinball is my call sign right?”

She just nodded with a knowing smile. Of course she knows that.

“Fun fact. I’ve never actually played before.” she confessed. She laughed at his funny shocked expression.

“Teach me?”

He came up from behind her and wrapped his arms firmly around her waist and half walked her carried her over to the big bright machine like a rag doll. He was happy again, that’s all she ever wants for him.

After a quick instruction he stood behind her and placed his fingers on top of hers on the buttons. She giggled every time he pressed down on her fingers to make the levers work. He wasn’t bad. She was getting the hang of it and was surprisingly enjoying herself.

His breath against her neck was starting to get distracting but she tried to focus on the game in front of her. She thought that maybe it was an accident until she clearly felt a steady stream of soft breath blowing down her neck and thanks to her strapless dress down her shoulder too.

It sent the most delicious shiver down her spine and she closed her eyes and leaned into his warm body.  That familiar ache was back.

He took one hand away from her and the game and reached around under the front of her dress. She halfheartedly kept playing, but her heart started to beat faster and all her mind could focus on was the warmth of his hand running up her bare thigh.

“I could fuck you right here Q.” he startled her as he spoke close to her ear then cupped her softly over her thin lace panties. Her heart was beating so fast, she silently begged him not to stop. She licked her lips and tried to control her panting breaths.

“I’d like that.” she whispered while he massaged her through the thin fabric. When her wetness was made evident he groaned and pressed his lips to her neck and the pinball game was quickly forgotten.

“Really? Here?” he asked against her neck in between his long wet sucking kisses.

She moaned when his hand became more aggressive under her dress. Instead of answering him she  pressed her ass into his firm erection and he had his answer.  

He pushed the lace fabric roughly aside and toyed with her; spreading her wetness while she squirmed against him. She moaned feeling his beard against her neck and shoulder.

“You’re so wet.” he groaned.

“You make me wet baby.” she answered feeling confident and sexy under his touch.

Hearing that was all it took for him to quickly ended his teasing and sink two of his fingers deep inside her.

She let out a deep moan from the back of her throat and clumsily tried to reach behind her.  She felt his large cock strained within the thick denim of his jeans. She panted while she fumbled with her fingers and tried to open his jeans while he began to pump his fingers roughly inside her. Once she had successfully freed him he pushed her hard against the machine with his hips and doubled his efforts against her slippery skin and pressed his thumb against her clit.

“You’re gunna make me come J.” she whined through her teeth and braced herself. Both of her hands were splayed out against the glass; trying to keep herself standing as she felt her release quickly approaching. He knew her too well, he knew how to hit that magic spot and tease her clit at the same time to play out her orgasm for as long as possible. Her legs almost gave out as she came hard against his hand.

He turned her around slowly and sat her on top on the machine. Her eyes were still closed and she was trying to steady her breathing. He watched her come down from her high and lazily lean her weight onto her hands behind her on the glass. The colorful glow of the lights made her the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

He parted her legs and ran his fingers along her soft smooth skin and slowly removed her panties.

She looked up at him and the love in her eyes nearly took his breath away. He reached for the back of her neck and pulled her up towards his mouth. They desperately kissed for what felt like an eternity. Both of them trying to express without words what they felt for each other.

“We’re gunna be okay.” she whispered against his lips while they both tried to catch their breath. He closed his eyes felt her words reach his heart. He nodded in agreement and believed her.

“I’m all in Jake.” she tried to reassure him while she lowered his jeans and boxers and let them fall to his ankles. She looked him in the eye and started to stroke his smooth hard cock slowly. He recognized those words immediately. Those were the words he used the first time they made love. It amazed him how many times he could fall in love with the same woman.

“I want you.” he groaned and rested his forehead on hers. She smiled and took his bottom lip into hers and pulled; making him groan louder.

“I’m all yours.”

He grabbed her hips and brought her closer to him. He pushed the top of her dress down and wasted no time taking her breasts into his hands and a nipple into his mouth. He licked and suck then pulled hard on it with his lips and made her cry out.

She threw her head back and stopped stroking him. She couldn’t focus on anything else other then his mouth on her. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled hard the way he liked. He repeated his actions on her other breast and listened to her lose control and cry out again. Fuck he loved that sound.

He kissed and sucked along her neck until he reached the back on her ear. She desperately needed to touch him so one hand held the back of his neck; holder her back up off the glass; and the other went back to stroked his thick hard cock. He moaned against her neck and she continued her movements and twist her palm at the tip.

He closed his eyes and surrendered to her ministrations. He could smell her perfume and her arousal in the air and wasn’t sure how long he could last without being inside her. She was everything, she set his blood on fire.

He held her by the small of her back and placed his hand over hers to stop her movements. She leaned forward and held his face with both hands. She kissed his forehead softly while he positioned himself and entered her wetness. She hooked her ankles behind his back to bring him in deeper.

Once he was fully seated he closed his eyes and let out a low groan. He paused and let her adjust to his size while she rubbed her cheek against his.

“Fuck I love you.” he softly whispered against her ear.

“I love you too.” she quickly whispered back. “so much…”

He started to thrust up into her hard, making her slightly bounce off the surface of the pinball machine with every push. She held on to his neck and pressed her lips together to try and muffle her sounds. He felt amazing it was difficult to hold back.

“Naw baby.” he noticed her struggle but continued with his powerful rhythm. He held tightly to her hips as he jolted her. “I wanna hear you.” he growled.

She let go and cried out with every hard powerful snap of his hips. He was taking her quick and all she could do was hold on to his neck and shoulders for dear life. She needed to anchor herself, how he made her feel was too much for her to comprehend.

She bunched up handfuls of his t-shirt into her fists and felt the familiar sensation of her orgasm approaching yet again.

“You’re close….I can tell.” he taunted through his staggered breaths “Come on. Gimme another one baby.”

All she could do was nod her head while he pounded into her. The wet sound of their bodies slapping together mixed with his grunts and her mews filled the dark room and it took only moments for her to come again.

“Christ!” he cursed and called out as he felt her walls close down tight around him. Her nails were digging into his neck and he knew that he was seconds away from joining her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him as close to her as possible when she felt him start to come inside her. He called out her name and groaned into her neck.

Once he was finished he wrapped his arms around her waist and she started to stroked his hair. They stayed like this for a moment, not wanting to separate their bodies.

He hear what sounded like a small cute sniffle coming from her and lifted his face from her shoulder to see what was wrong. Her eyes looked glassy and wet; he pulled out of her and kissed her forehead..

“You okay?” he asked full of loving concern.

She nodded her wiped her eyes.

“Heeey. Did I hurt you?” he asked softy.

“No.” she shook her head. “Sometimes I’m overwhelmed over how I feel about you.” she gave him a small smile and looked away while she pulled her dress up to cover herself.

He gave her a sympathetic smile and got dressed himself.

She jumped off the pinball machine and straightened out the rest of her dress the best she could and combed through her wild hair with her fingers. The whole time he watched her and wondered if she was truly okay.

She took a few deep breaths and tried to stop feeling so emotional but she felt more tears coming. He meant so much to her and his words from before were still in her head.

Her efforts did not go unnoticed and he pulled her into a big hug and kissed her hair.

“Don’t cry Q Ball.” he tried to cheer her up. She was such a softy; he loved that about her.

“I’m okay. Being this happy is kinda a new thing for me.” he could barely hear her muffled voice as she spoke into his chest. It was adorable.

“You’re tellin’ me!” he let out a loud laugh and felt her laugh against his chest. “Thanks for tonight babe.”

“You’re more then welcome.” she wiped her eyes and  looked up at him. “I could never be afraid of you Jake.” she could feel his body tense at her words. “I have never felt this safe before.”

Her words took all the air out of his lungs. How did she always know the perfect thing to said? He let her confession wash over him as he looked down at her beautiful face. He was afraid to say anything that would ruin this moment for them so he just nodded while she smiled up at him.

“Lets go home ok?” she asked sweetly.

“Home it is pretty lady.”

“I still gotta find my shoes!” she joked while he scanned the room.

“I gotta deal with that.” he pointed up across to the other side of the room. She looked over to see what he was referring to.

“Oh shit.” her whole face turned white and she grabbed his arm.

“Naw. Don’t worry Q. Piece of cake. This is what I do. Should take me two minutes tops.”

She still felt completely unnerved but trusted him and went to look for her shoes.

Dating a guy like Jensen comes in handy when you decide to have sex in a unusual places outfitted with security cameras.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read. If I could give you a kudos I would! Any feedback (good or bad) is wonderful.  
> If you liked Jensen & Quinn come and follow me on tumblr at @heather-lynn. I have a lot more fun content there.  
> I also currently post on Wattpad as heather-lynn  
> Love your guts! xo


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